Visitors

Today I am having some people over at my house. This of course means that I (and my family who were lovely and helped) spent a lot of time yesterday scrubbing the house - dusting, sweeping, wiping, vacuuming. Piles of paper were gone through, toys were sorted, closets were organized. We worked hard.

But I wonder. Will my guests see all the hard work? Or will they see the cracks in the tile? Will they notice the fingerprints that are on the walls in the spots I missed? Will they notice the piles that remain and wonder why they are piled up like that? Will they see all the toys everywhere and wonder if we let our kids take over the house? Will they notice the broken couch, the broken chairs, the missing door to the coat closet? Will they spot the spots on the carpet, the dings in the wall, the places where the paint is chipped?

Maybe they'll notice I'm not a great house decorator. That I'm not exactly sure what to put on my walls, that most of my house is still painted what we call the builder's shade of beige. Will the kids artwork, hanging on wire and also randomly taped up around the house be endearing? Or a sign of chaos and disorganization?

My house has 2 adults and 3 kids. We are sometimes messy and disorganized. We have a lot of hand-me-downs ... the furniture doesn't always match. Things get broken. Kids like to jump and bounce and couches don't always appreciate it. I don't always appreciate it.

Do they wonder if we are waiting to fix it until the kids are older? {we are} Or if we even notice? {we do} Do they wonder if we are waiting for the budget to open up? {this too} Or if we even care anymore? {sometimes I don't, but mostly I do} Do they wonder if I love my house? Because I do, every beat up part of it. It's ours. Filled with our memories and out good times.  

And yet we live in a pinterest-filled world. Where ideas abound. People strive to have homes that could end up in a Better Homes & Garden article on the fly. I know people who have budgets to decorate for one holiday season that exceeds my yearly decorating budget. While I love my home, I also long for a home that is not so, well, lived in. If I had nothing standing in my way - I'd get new flooring, new appliances, paint the walls, power wash the outdoors, hire a landscaper, invest in new window treatments, replace the couches, get some real dining room furniture ... The list goes on and on. 

The danger of course is that my brain often thinks if I did all those things, I'd be happier. Magically, my kids wouldn't bang toys into the wall, or bounce on the couch (even if the million times I've already told them hasn't gotten them to stop). Drinks would no longer spill and everything would magically fit and my house would look totally uncluttered.

If it were only that simple. We'd have redone the house several years ago!

But. But, as I said before, this is our house, filled with our memories and our good times. Our laughter. My children's artwork, almost everywhere I turn! Pictures, even if they aren't displayed how Nate Berkus would do it. I love it.

And while my company will probably spot the cracks and the bumps and the imperfections, I hope they can see past it all and feel the love and the joy and the happiness that happens here.