Dear Fellow Walker,
I love that you, like me signed up to walk in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. You were in the walk with me. That tells me that you had done all the fundraising necessary, that you had accepted the challenge to walk. It also means that I can assume at some point breast cancer has touched your life.
I know, I know. We aren't supposed to assume, but as I've walked and talked to people, I've quickly learned people are here because breast cancer touched them in some way. I've met people who walk for their grandma, their mom, their daughter, their sister, a friend's aunt, a teacher who inspired them. I've met walkers, who like me, walk because they had or have breast cancer.
We are all here, in the same spirit: breast cancer has touched us, we want to make a difference so we walk!
I also know, like me, you were tired when we met. We met at mile 22, where we both chose to stop walking and get on the van to drive us to the end. You didn't know it, but I had just been hit by someone else walking on the sidewalk. I was tired, I was in a bit of pain (that, let's be honest, wasn't too bad, but I had just walked 22 miles and so at that point little things felt big).
You came on the bus. You looked tired, like me. You looked hot, like me. You looked like you had worked hard to get those 22 miles and were now ready for a break. You were a young woman like me. We wearily smiled at each other. I noticed the big sticker you had on your shirt. A pink sticker. It was hard to miss. And it said on it "Survivor Chic" among several pink ribbons.
I instantly wanted to meet you. Another young woman with breast cancer. I don't pretend to think I'm the only one, but at that moment, I wanted to reach out. I wanted to say hi. I wanted to know your story. It's part of the reason to walk - to hear other people's stories. And I wondered how much we had in common. So I asked politely "When were you diagnosed?"
The look of shock that came across your face, well, it kind of shocked me! "I've never been diagnosed with anything!" You informed me. You wondered why I asked. So I told you, as I pointed (even though I know pointing is not polite) "your sticker" as I double checked to make sure I read it right.
Yep, all pink. With SURVIVOR CHIC printed on it.
"Oh this!" You said, looking down, "Yeah, I just put on because I thought it was cute!"
Wait. What? Did I just hear you right? I'm pretty sure that's when my mouth dropped open. You thought it was cute. I nodded and then turned to look out the window of the van. The woman next to me, who I think sensed that this was not going over well for me, patted my hand.
I stared out that window. Too stunned to talk. You thought it was cute? I was half tempted to lift my shirt, show my scars, make you really look and ask if they were cute as well.
I wondered, why if you haven't had breast cancer, why at a breast cancer walk, you would put a sticker on identifying you as a survivor. Why would you want to be in the same group as me? It wasn't fun. It wasn't cute.
Maybe I'm over-reacting. I had been walking all day. I was tired. I had just been hit by a random pedestrian who clearly didn't think that any of us walking that day were cute.
Maybe you didn't know. My friends, upon hearing about this, offered up excuses for you: maybe you thought it related to some band's song. Or to the television show. Or maybe you were in such awe of survivors you wanted to be like them.
I'm not sure what happened. I'd like to think you really thought the sticker was cute and that you put it on without thinking. I'd like to think you didn't know it would feel like a slap in the face to me. That it would make me want to cry, when I was already at a point in which I was holding back tears. That maybe you didn't realize that cancer isn't cute. It isn't something to long for. Or a club you ever want to be a part of. It's hard. It's painful. It changed me - and not in some glorious I-had-an-epiphany-and-am-now-a-better-person-so-make-a-cheesy-movie-about-me-in-which-the-world-can-think-cancer-was-a-gift kind of way.
I didn't talk to you then. I wasn't sure of how the words would come out. But what I wish I had to said to you is this: As cute as the sticker may be, cancer is not. It's not something you want to be a part of it. It hurts me to see you wear that sticker so casually - like a fun accessory - after all that cancer did to me. I'm sure you aren't trying to be hurtful, but I really don't think that you should wear a sticker that implies you are a breast cancer survivor here, or maybe anywhere, but especially not here and not today.
And maybe we could have become friends. Maybe you would have seen it from my side, and I would have seen it from your side. Maybe we would have both learned something. That would have been good. But I sat, silent, staring out the window, biting my lip to keep from crying. I was just too tired to tell you all of this.
I know it's pretty unlikely you will read this. But if by some weird stroke of luck, you do, I hope you will see where I'm coming from. That I'm not mad. I was then, in that moment, but not now. Now, I hope that you never have an actual reason to wear a sticker similar again.
Love,
A fellow walker and breast cancer survivor
Showing posts with label avon walk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label avon walk. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 09, 2014
Tuesday, June 03, 2014
Avon Walk
So, this past weekend, I walked in my third Avon walk. I went knowing it would also be my last. It was bittersweet to say the least.
Yesterday, I woke up and took a little walk around the neighborhood. And no, I'm not crazy. And yes, I had just walked 30 miles the weekend before. But I could feel my muscles tightening up so I knew I needed to get them moving, even if it was just a slow, leisurely walk!
When I got home from the walk, I sat down to write a message on facebook. It was a lot longer than I thought it would be. But re-reading it today, I realize I can't say it any better. So today, I'm going to just copy and paste that message over here, because even though it's not polished, or proof-read, I think it perfectly sums up the last three years for me!
....
Yesterday, I woke up and took a little walk around the neighborhood. And no, I'm not crazy. And yes, I had just walked 30 miles the weekend before. But I could feel my muscles tightening up so I knew I needed to get them moving, even if it was just a slow, leisurely walk!
When I got home from the walk, I sat down to write a message on facebook. It was a lot longer than I thought it would be. But re-reading it today, I realize I can't say it any better. So today, I'm going to just copy and paste that message over here, because even though it's not polished, or proof-read, I think it perfectly sums up the last three years for me!
....
So
I just took a short (slow) walk around the neighborhood, and as I
watched the clouds roll in, I did some thinking. I'll share with you,
and it's long (for which I'm sorry, but not too sorry!)
Doing my third Avon walk this year was, in a word, amazing.
There were some bumps in the road (literally and figuratively). There were too many stories that made me cry. Stories that made me smile. Hugs and cheering abounded.
I spent the entire walk with at least one of my teammates Sue, Cathy, and Laura (and most of the time all of them) around me. We had a some friends come walk with us for small bits of time. I got to see my daughter Abigail shine as part of the youth crew, and give the rest of my family a HUGE hug and walk with them for the last mile-ish.
The sun shone, the rain stayed away.
3 years ago I did my first avon walk, mostly because of Rita and Deanna, and joined this team One More Mile. Little did I know that other friends would join, that people who joined and I didn't know before the walk would become my friends too. I didn't know there would be so much laughter and so many tears, and sometimes both at the same time. I didn't know how much the kindness of strangers would encourage me to take one more step when I thought I couldn't. I didn't know how good a hug would feel as I was crying to get on a bus when I couldn't take one more step, despite desperately wanting to keep going. I didn't know that this year, I'd be the one who stopped and helped people and encouraged them and told them it will be okay as they cried getting on the bus because as much as they wanted to, they just couldn't walk one more step at that moment.
I didn't know that over the course of three years, I would raise over $10,000 to help fund research, education, and treatment/testing for other women. I didn't know that I'd walk a combined total of 106.2 miles.
I didn't know how much I would cry at the finish the line the first year because darn-it, I had done it! I didn't know how much I'd cry at the finish line this year, because it was the last year and I was surrounded by so much love and some pretty awesome people.
In 2011 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It changed my life in some ways I'll never be able to accurately put into words. But it was the reason I walk in 2012. And again in 2013, and once more this year. Cancer sucks. Treatments are long and grueling. Complications only exasperate those feelings. But there are some beautiful and bright moments amongst all of that. The Avon Walk is one of those for me - despite feeling long and grueling.
It's been a good three years. This year, I felt stronger and healthier than I have at the other two years. This year, I finally feel healed from everything I endured from breast cancer. My body is no longer my enemy. It's a good place to be.
I will not for one minute regret ever walking in my Avon walks, but I also don't regret not signing up for next year. I had three good years. It was what I needed. And now I need to take a break. So I will.
But I know next year, as the walk happens, I will feel a bit of sadness. I won't have my walk sisters (who will always be like sisters in my heart) - Cathy, Laura, Sue - beside me. But I'll have the memories in my heart. And I'll go cheer for those who are walking again (Get ready Laura, Diane, Sally and anyone else who's walking... I'm coming with my voice ready to scream and some popsicles if it's hot!)
All of this to say, thank you to everyone - yes every single person - who donated, who cheered me (on facebook, on twitter, via e-mail), who prayed for us, who sent good thoughts, to the new friends I met on the walk, to those of you who helped carry bags when I needed it, to everyone who has been a part of Team One More Mile - Rita, Deanna (and mom), Becky, Jill, Diane, Sally, Charyn, all of Team Amazeboobs, And of course to my family who dealt with all the training walks, the fundraising, who support me, cheer for me and love me (even when I'm tired, crabby, and worn out!)
Pretty much thank you to each and every one of you. I couldn't have done any of this without you.
xoxo
me
Doing my third Avon walk this year was, in a word, amazing.
There were some bumps in the road (literally and figuratively). There were too many stories that made me cry. Stories that made me smile. Hugs and cheering abounded.
I spent the entire walk with at least one of my teammates Sue, Cathy, and Laura (and most of the time all of them) around me. We had a some friends come walk with us for small bits of time. I got to see my daughter Abigail shine as part of the youth crew, and give the rest of my family a HUGE hug and walk with them for the last mile-ish.
The sun shone, the rain stayed away.
3 years ago I did my first avon walk, mostly because of Rita and Deanna, and joined this team One More Mile. Little did I know that other friends would join, that people who joined and I didn't know before the walk would become my friends too. I didn't know there would be so much laughter and so many tears, and sometimes both at the same time. I didn't know how much the kindness of strangers would encourage me to take one more step when I thought I couldn't. I didn't know how good a hug would feel as I was crying to get on a bus when I couldn't take one more step, despite desperately wanting to keep going. I didn't know that this year, I'd be the one who stopped and helped people and encouraged them and told them it will be okay as they cried getting on the bus because as much as they wanted to, they just couldn't walk one more step at that moment.
I didn't know that over the course of three years, I would raise over $10,000 to help fund research, education, and treatment/testing for other women. I didn't know that I'd walk a combined total of 106.2 miles.
I didn't know how much I would cry at the finish the line the first year because darn-it, I had done it! I didn't know how much I'd cry at the finish line this year, because it was the last year and I was surrounded by so much love and some pretty awesome people.
In 2011 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It changed my life in some ways I'll never be able to accurately put into words. But it was the reason I walk in 2012. And again in 2013, and once more this year. Cancer sucks. Treatments are long and grueling. Complications only exasperate those feelings. But there are some beautiful and bright moments amongst all of that. The Avon Walk is one of those for me - despite feeling long and grueling.
It's been a good three years. This year, I felt stronger and healthier than I have at the other two years. This year, I finally feel healed from everything I endured from breast cancer. My body is no longer my enemy. It's a good place to be.
I will not for one minute regret ever walking in my Avon walks, but I also don't regret not signing up for next year. I had three good years. It was what I needed. And now I need to take a break. So I will.
But I know next year, as the walk happens, I will feel a bit of sadness. I won't have my walk sisters (who will always be like sisters in my heart) - Cathy, Laura, Sue - beside me. But I'll have the memories in my heart. And I'll go cheer for those who are walking again (Get ready Laura, Diane, Sally and anyone else who's walking... I'm coming with my voice ready to scream and some popsicles if it's hot!)
All of this to say, thank you to everyone - yes every single person - who donated, who cheered me (on facebook, on twitter, via e-mail), who prayed for us, who sent good thoughts, to the new friends I met on the walk, to those of you who helped carry bags when I needed it, to everyone who has been a part of Team One More Mile - Rita, Deanna (and mom), Becky, Jill, Diane, Sally, Charyn, all of Team Amazeboobs, And of course to my family who dealt with all the training walks, the fundraising, who support me, cheer for me and love me (even when I'm tired, crabby, and worn out!)
Pretty much thank you to each and every one of you. I couldn't have done any of this without you.
xoxo
me
Monday, April 28, 2014
Knit-a-thon done!
Well, this weekend's knit-a-thon was, what I would call, a smashing success!
My fingers are slightly cramped and I might not knit much today, and I slept like a rock last night but that is a small price to pay!
I updated at least hourly over on instagram this weekend, so if you're following me there, this might be repeated information, but here's some stats about this weekend
29 hours knitting (in a 37 hour period)
$1000 raised
11 washcloths knit
36 photos shared (on instagram)
Over 20 miles walked (yes, I walk and knit at the same time)
Whoa! You guys, I'm pleased as punch over this! It was so much fun. And everyone was so supportive. My spirit is happy, my heart is happy.
There's still work to do. I need about $1500 in donations to meet my personal goal, and the walk is a month away. I also need to train more for the actual walking part!
My fingers are slightly cramped and I might not knit much today, and I slept like a rock last night but that is a small price to pay!
I updated at least hourly over on instagram this weekend, so if you're following me there, this might be repeated information, but here's some stats about this weekend
29 hours knitting (in a 37 hour period)
$1000 raised
11 washcloths knit
36 photos shared (on instagram)
Over 20 miles walked (yes, I walk and knit at the same time)
Whoa! You guys, I'm pleased as punch over this! It was so much fun. And everyone was so supportive. My spirit is happy, my heart is happy.
There's still work to do. I need about $1500 in donations to meet my personal goal, and the walk is a month away. I also need to train more for the actual walking part!
Friday, April 25, 2014
Knit-a-thon
 |
| basket of yarn ready to go! |
In about 12 hours I will sit down and begin part I of my knit-a-thon!
I thought of this idea last month in an effort to help raise money for my Avon Walk (which is just over a month away! Yikes!)
Anyway, I started today very far from my final goal. But I'm going to go to bed much closer, which feels great!
Tomorrow I will knit.
Tomorrow is also the three-year-anniversary of my diagnosis.
My goodness. Three years. I'm hoping that tomorrow can be a way to help change the memory of that day.
Three years ago, April 26 was the Tuesday after Easter. Tomorrow is a week after Easter - they aren't perfectly matched, but pretty close.
So I will reclaim the day and at the same time try to do some good for the world.
Though, I admit, deciding to sit and knit all day is a very selfish decision, but it's also what I can do! So I will do it!
I will definitely be sharing pictures on instagram (you can follow me here). I still haven't decided if I will live blog the day or not. I know, not a lot of time to decide LOL!
Anyway, thanks in advance for all the support and love!
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Knit-A-Thon
Very soon (like 10 weeks!) I'll be walking in my third Avon 2-Day walk. And in order to walk in it, I have raise a bit of money. Of course, by a bit, I mean a lot! 1800 to be exact! This year, I'm not even close to it yet!So, this year, I'm shaking it up a bit. I'm going to do a knit-a-thon.
On Saturday April 26 and Sunday April 27!
The date is important because April 26 will be the third anniversary of my diagnosis.
I can't think of anything better I'd like to do on that day than knit all day.
So I will.
The plan is to knit for 24 hours. But I'm also a mom and I have to function, so I'm actually doing 12 hours on Saturday and 12 hours on Sunday. 10:30am to 10:30pm.
10:30 am is about the time the doctor called to give me the news.
All day I'm going to be knitting. I will be working on either a scarf (or two) or some washcloths. At the end of my knit-a-thon I'm going to randomly give what I've made to the people who donate to me.
This is kind of bittersweet too because I've also decided that this will be my last Avon walk, at least for a while.
The walk is hard - which I mean, walking 39 miles isn't easy, but it's just too much for me. It's very hard on me physically.
It's also hard on my family. It is a lot of time.
I know it's for a good cause. I believe in making a difference. But it's also time for me to make a difference in a different way.
That said, I'm still excited about walking this year for the third time. And I can't wait to do my knit-a-thon. It will be such a blast.
Anyway, if you'd like to learn more about my walk, here is my Avon Page!
I might live-blog my knit-a-thon too, I'm not sure yet. I think twitter and instagram might be a better platform that day. Naturally, I'll keep you all posted!
Monday, March 10, 2014
Knitted Hats
A few months ago, I sold a few knitted scarves to get donations for my Avon Walk (that's coming soon!). I took a picture of all the scarves and put it on facebook. I was pretty nervous that no one would want them, but alas, a few of them sold pretty quickly!
A friend reached out and asked if I could make her a hat instead. Sure!
I knew that whatever I made, it had to be soft. And it had to be pretty. Soft because I know from being bald, you don't want something uncomfortable on your head and pretty because I needed the hats to match her soul!
The hats didn't take too long to work up. But then I forgot to mail them. Then I procrastinated mailing them. I think I finished knitting them in November? And didn't mail them until the end of February? Shame on me.
I loved making them. And I'm so pleased with how well they turned out. I think the green and pink one is my favorite - but I love how the two colors turned out together. The all green hat is the one Miss 11 wanted to steal, so it's possible I will be knitting this again soon!
Friday, November 08, 2013
Scarves
I've been a knitting fool and have made a lot of scarves lately. The thing is, I can walk and knit. And sometimes job in place and knit. And occasionally, I can jog in place, read a book, and knit. I know, I know, it's crazy. I'm usually pretty klutzy and so it amazes even me that I haven't killed myself yet. However, it seems I become less klutzy when I have a pair of knitting needles in my hand.
Anyway, I guess this is pretty fascinating because sometimes I mention it and then people look at me like I have two heads. I suppose, it's not often I see people walking down the street knitting away (though I did see it once, and no, I wasn't looking in a mirror). So, alas, in an effort to be healthy, train for the avon walk, I walk and knit.
Scarves are the easiest for sure. I once started a shawl and knit, but once it got to a certain width, it became impossible to do so. So I stick to scarves. I had about 8 done when I offered to sell one to someone, in exchange for a donation of their choosing to my Avon walk. I really expected people to be say oh, that's cute. I don't need one. Good luck. But a few people actually wanted the scarves I made. Kind of cool, and flattering (I won't lie!)
So today I mailed 3 scarves off to their new homes. I had 2 others (that were gorgeous if I do say so myself) but I forgot to photograph them before giving them to their new owners. Anyway, here are my walking scarves! The pictures are great. I took them with my phone last night while trying to get everything ready to ship =)
This scarf is going to the first person who responded. She mentioned she just got cream gloves and asked which scarf would match. I didn't actually have a cream one knit up, but I knew I had cream yarn, so I offered to make her one just for her!
Then there is this purple beauty, which I love. I may have to make myself a second one. This one was snatched up pretty quickly as well.
And last but not least, this gray beauty. Looks familiar huh? Someone saw the purple one and said, oh, can I have that in gray? And I said yes! I love this pattern so much. I could knit it a million more times and not grow tired of it. The yarn is thick enough that it keeps your warm, but the holes make it so it isn't too warm (as someone who is prone to hot flashes, that is pretty important to me!)
Anyway, some of my recent knitting to show you =) I suppose next week I'll have to talk more about all my walking, and somewhere I have a video of my walking and knitting that I might have to post!
Have a good Friday night!
Anyway, I guess this is pretty fascinating because sometimes I mention it and then people look at me like I have two heads. I suppose, it's not often I see people walking down the street knitting away (though I did see it once, and no, I wasn't looking in a mirror). So, alas, in an effort to be healthy, train for the avon walk, I walk and knit.
Scarves are the easiest for sure. I once started a shawl and knit, but once it got to a certain width, it became impossible to do so. So I stick to scarves. I had about 8 done when I offered to sell one to someone, in exchange for a donation of their choosing to my Avon walk. I really expected people to be say oh, that's cute. I don't need one. Good luck. But a few people actually wanted the scarves I made. Kind of cool, and flattering (I won't lie!)
So today I mailed 3 scarves off to their new homes. I had 2 others (that were gorgeous if I do say so myself) but I forgot to photograph them before giving them to their new owners. Anyway, here are my walking scarves! The pictures are great. I took them with my phone last night while trying to get everything ready to ship =)
This scarf is going to the first person who responded. She mentioned she just got cream gloves and asked which scarf would match. I didn't actually have a cream one knit up, but I knew I had cream yarn, so I offered to make her one just for her!
Then there is this purple beauty, which I love. I may have to make myself a second one. This one was snatched up pretty quickly as well.
And last but not least, this gray beauty. Looks familiar huh? Someone saw the purple one and said, oh, can I have that in gray? And I said yes! I love this pattern so much. I could knit it a million more times and not grow tired of it. The yarn is thick enough that it keeps your warm, but the holes make it so it isn't too warm (as someone who is prone to hot flashes, that is pretty important to me!)
Anyway, some of my recent knitting to show you =) I suppose next week I'll have to talk more about all my walking, and somewhere I have a video of my walking and knitting that I might have to post!
Have a good Friday night!
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Cancer
 |
| Diane and I last year |
Cancer
by Diane
Cancer....something evil or malignant that spreads
destructively . This is one of the definitions I found when looking
in the dictionary and I tend to agree.
This powerful disease has not affected me personally since my brother passed away in 1974 of Leukemia.
Cancer has invaded my friends and their families. It has been evil and destructive to their
lives, changing their course forever. Throughout the years I have become more
saddened as Cancer infected those around me.
I have felt devastated and helpless
because I could not fully understand their battles and the feelings that
enveloped the victims. Over the past few
years I finally decided that I CAN and will make a difference.
 |
| Diane, always with a smile on her face! |
This past year especially has been one with a variety of
mood swings when it comes to cancer in my life.
Two of the most amazing ladies I know are breast cancer survivors. Sue is a 6 yr survivor and Brandie a mere 34
is a 1 ½ yr survivor. They have both
taught me what courage and faith is about.
Two years ago I found out a friend of mines daughter in law
was diagnosed with Breast Cancer at the age of 33. She began treatments and is doing well. An amazing young lady who has never lost
faith.
Just recently a friend of mine became an angel in
heaven. She was diagnosed with Breast
Cancer and after treatment for that she
was diagnosed with Brain Cancer and passed away recently. She was a wonderful lady who made everyone
smile.
Last fall I lost a very special patient. She was diagnosed several years ago with
stage 4 breast cancer which then
metastasized to the bone. After fighting
for several years she stopped her treatments and put everything in Gods
hands. Margaret lived everyday to its
fullest. She gave life all she
could. This courageous individual taught
me that even though obstacles get in our way we must fight these battles to the
best of our abilities. She touched my
heart, filled my soul & changed me as a person forever
Almost a year ago very good friend lost her father to colon cancer after a
courageous fight
 |
| Diane, me and team Amazeboobs |
If Margaret, Polly, Maggie, Brandie, Sue and
Curtis & hundreds of thousands of others I don't know can fight the
battle for their lives who am I not to stand in the trenches & fight with
them? I have made fighting cancer my mission, if I can help others become aware
of the necessity to become involved fighting the fight then I have completed my
mission This will not be an easy task as each day hundreds of individuals are
diagnosed with cancer. If I can educate others, your Mom might be around in a few
years, your daughter won't be 35 years old fighting for her life & I will
know in my heart that I made my angels Polly & Margaret proud.
I have chosen to walk each year in the Avon Walk for
Breast Cancer because I feel this is my mission. I feel so right to walk and raise funds that
will help educate others and hopefully one day put an end to this disease. Though this is a devastating illness and I
can only imagine the challenges victims face I know in my heart that I am in it
to end it and I pray that one day this will be no more.
Friday, April 26, 2013
2 Years
Two years.
I can't lie. It feels both much, much longer. And every so often, it seems like it hasn't been that long. {Though that feeling is rare and often fleeting}.
Two years.
Alright, alright. What I'm really thinking is two effing years.
Two effing years.
****
On another, related note. Since today is my two year canciversary (?) it seems fitting to share this here today. My children helped me make this video. It's for a contest Avon is holding for walkers this year. I'd like to point out, I didn't give my kids scripts. I told them generally what I wanted and let them go.
I thought we had everything we needed when my oldest told me she had something more to add, and that's how the ending came about! I teared up then. I tear up every time I watch. I'm told, I'm not alone in it.
So here you go, why I'm walking in the Avon 2 Day walk this year
Happy Friday everyone!
xoxo,
Brandie
P.S. The song in the video is by the very talented Monica Allison.
Sunday, April 07, 2013
Walking
Today I walked.
6 miles. I walked partly along a path I had never walked before. The sun was shining, warming my skin. I actually took my jacket off.
The sky was blue. Clear blue. Like on a summer day with hardly a cloud in it.
Birds were chirping their merry tunes. Although they were quite camera shy. I tried to snap several pictures but as soon as it they sensed I might even be thinking of getting close, they would fly away and sing from another spot.
Flowers were starting to bloom. Stems peeking up from the dirt. The grass shifting from brown to green.
It was truly, a beautiful day. Beauty was all around me. And I thought how weird it is that we live in a world with such beauty, and yet such heart break. So much wonder, and yet so much pain. Pretty things, pleasing to the eye to see, soothing to the soul to hear. And yet, so much ugliness.
I suppose the beauty is there to offset the ugly. It does - but not always enough.
Yet there is comfort in still being able to see the beauty. I'm going to try to hold onto it this week. It's going to be a long week. I will do my best to pass the time with my crochet, with my walking, and spending time with my family. And if the sun could stick around for a bit, that would be lovely.
6 miles. I walked partly along a path I had never walked before. The sun was shining, warming my skin. I actually took my jacket off.
The sky was blue. Clear blue. Like on a summer day with hardly a cloud in it.
Birds were chirping their merry tunes. Although they were quite camera shy. I tried to snap several pictures but as soon as it they sensed I might even be thinking of getting close, they would fly away and sing from another spot.
Flowers were starting to bloom. Stems peeking up from the dirt. The grass shifting from brown to green.
It was truly, a beautiful day. Beauty was all around me. And I thought how weird it is that we live in a world with such beauty, and yet such heart break. So much wonder, and yet so much pain. Pretty things, pleasing to the eye to see, soothing to the soul to hear. And yet, so much ugliness.
I suppose the beauty is there to offset the ugly. It does - but not always enough.
Yet there is comfort in still being able to see the beauty. I'm going to try to hold onto it this week. It's going to be a long week. I will do my best to pass the time with my crochet, with my walking, and spending time with my family. And if the sun could stick around for a bit, that would be lovely.
Tuesday, June 05, 2012
This Moment
The walk was incredible. The walk was amazing. It was also grueling. And tough. And difficult.
I was blessed to have some pretty supportive people around me.
On the first day a group of 4 others (one who was a teammate and then 3 wonderful men of Team Skipper) walked with me, and encouraged me to keep walking, even when I thought I couldn't take another step, because they got that being able to finish it was going to mean so much to me. They encouraged me. Helped me when I freaked out over a missing camera (that was thankfully found). They carried my bag. Told me to drink more water. Basically, they had my back. When we crossed that finish line the first day, I cried. No, it wasn't the first time that day. But I had done it. Not alone though .... the hard things in life are so much easier to get through with help. Surgery, chemo, radiation, infection, surgery again, healing, and walking 26.2 miles. I was not made to do it alone. And every step of the way I have been incredibly blessed to have people there who have metaphorically carried me through it. The walk was no different.
The second day, despite being fewer miles, was much harder for me. I won't lie. At one point I'm pretty sure I growled at some people. I was exhausted. I was tired. I thought for sure I couldn't take another step. But my same group of four, where there beside me. In addition, 5 more of my teammates (including another breast cancer survivor) and 3 other new friends (shout-out to team North Dakota) joined me. And helped me. And again, encouraged me. Carried my backpack. And helped me, because seriously, I wanted to stop. so. many. times. {But seriously, I really didn't. I just didn't think I was strong enough to do it. I also want to take a second to assure you that my wonderful support group would have stopped me should I have hurt myself or looked, you know, ready to pass out. They truly had my back}.
So anyway, we were walking. And with 1.5 miles left, I was feeling pretty defeated. I texted my husband to let him know I was 1.5 miles away. He told me he was at the finish line with the kids and would see me soon.
We started walking again. Through the Cancer Survivor's garden, and Buckingham Fountain and heading towards Soldier Field. And I hit a wall. There was a moment where I was just ready to stop. Get in a car. And drive there. But then I thought of my husband and kids, waiting for me. And I looked around at all these people who were there, encouraging me. A few who were essentially strangers. Some old friends. Some new friends. There. For me. They would have crawled to that finish line if that's the pace I needed to keep. These amazing people, who could have taken off and walked much faster, were instead walking with me, to help me finish. And somewhere, somehow, I got re-energized. And I was ready to keep going. To walk. To finish this amazing journey I had started. So we walked. We knew we wanted to cross that line together - we had done this together, and we were going to finish together. And as we neared the line, we linked arms.
Somehow when we got closer I was sent to the front. And my friends started chanting my name. This incredible group of people I was walking with, chanted my name. It is one of those moments that I will always remember. They have told me that they were inspired by me. But I would argue that it was I who was inspired by them. This incredible group, some of whom were strangers to me a mere 36 hours prior, took time to encourage me and to help me. Out of the kindness in their hearts.
That is what I will remember about the walk over the past weekend. People coming together, for their family, their friends, their acquaintances and for strangers. I believe life was not meant to be lived alone. I believe there is strength in numbers. I believe kindness is never the wrong path to take. I will forget the blisters. I will forget about the achy joints. But I will not forget how amazing it felt to have finished this walk. I will not forget that I didn't do it alone. And I will not forget all* the amazing people who helped get me to that moment.
*all the amazing people who helped get me through it includes you, my lovely readers, every person who donated to me, every person who wished me luck on the walk, every person who thought about me, prayed for me and sent good vibes for the weekend, every person who walked with me, every person on my team, every person who supported me every step of the way. So thank you. To all of you.
I was blessed to have some pretty supportive people around me.
On the first day a group of 4 others (one who was a teammate and then 3 wonderful men of Team Skipper) walked with me, and encouraged me to keep walking, even when I thought I couldn't take another step, because they got that being able to finish it was going to mean so much to me. They encouraged me. Helped me when I freaked out over a missing camera (that was thankfully found). They carried my bag. Told me to drink more water. Basically, they had my back. When we crossed that finish line the first day, I cried. No, it wasn't the first time that day. But I had done it. Not alone though .... the hard things in life are so much easier to get through with help. Surgery, chemo, radiation, infection, surgery again, healing, and walking 26.2 miles. I was not made to do it alone. And every step of the way I have been incredibly blessed to have people there who have metaphorically carried me through it. The walk was no different.
The second day, despite being fewer miles, was much harder for me. I won't lie. At one point I'm pretty sure I growled at some people. I was exhausted. I was tired. I thought for sure I couldn't take another step. But my same group of four, where there beside me. In addition, 5 more of my teammates (including another breast cancer survivor) and 3 other new friends (shout-out to team North Dakota) joined me. And helped me. And again, encouraged me. Carried my backpack. And helped me, because seriously, I wanted to stop. so. many. times. {But seriously, I really didn't. I just didn't think I was strong enough to do it. I also want to take a second to assure you that my wonderful support group would have stopped me should I have hurt myself or looked, you know, ready to pass out. They truly had my back}.
So anyway, we were walking. And with 1.5 miles left, I was feeling pretty defeated. I texted my husband to let him know I was 1.5 miles away. He told me he was at the finish line with the kids and would see me soon.
We started walking again. Through the Cancer Survivor's garden, and Buckingham Fountain and heading towards Soldier Field. And I hit a wall. There was a moment where I was just ready to stop. Get in a car. And drive there. But then I thought of my husband and kids, waiting for me. And I looked around at all these people who were there, encouraging me. A few who were essentially strangers. Some old friends. Some new friends. There. For me. They would have crawled to that finish line if that's the pace I needed to keep. These amazing people, who could have taken off and walked much faster, were instead walking with me, to help me finish. And somewhere, somehow, I got re-energized. And I was ready to keep going. To walk. To finish this amazing journey I had started. So we walked. We knew we wanted to cross that line together - we had done this together, and we were going to finish together. And as we neared the line, we linked arms.
Somehow when we got closer I was sent to the front. And my friends started chanting my name. This incredible group of people I was walking with, chanted my name. It is one of those moments that I will always remember. They have told me that they were inspired by me. But I would argue that it was I who was inspired by them. This incredible group, some of whom were strangers to me a mere 36 hours prior, took time to encourage me and to help me. Out of the kindness in their hearts.
That is what I will remember about the walk over the past weekend. People coming together, for their family, their friends, their acquaintances and for strangers. I believe life was not meant to be lived alone. I believe there is strength in numbers. I believe kindness is never the wrong path to take. I will forget the blisters. I will forget about the achy joints. But I will not forget how amazing it felt to have finished this walk. I will not forget that I didn't do it alone. And I will not forget all* the amazing people who helped get me to that moment.
*all the amazing people who helped get me through it includes you, my lovely readers, every person who donated to me, every person who wished me luck on the walk, every person who thought about me, prayed for me and sent good vibes for the weekend, every person who walked with me, every person on my team, every person who supported me every step of the way. So thank you. To all of you.
So much to say ....
I have so much to say, and yet, words are failing me right now.
Two weekends ago we had a fabulous celebration with so many wonderful people. It was incredible. I'm still rounding up photos, but will write about it more eventually.
This past weekend I did the Avon 2 Day Walk in Chicago. It was fabulous. I have about a million things to say about it. But for now, I will leave you with this picture
Two weekends ago we had a fabulous celebration with so many wonderful people. It was incredible. I'm still rounding up photos, but will write about it more eventually.
This past weekend I did the Avon 2 Day Walk in Chicago. It was fabulous. I have about a million things to say about it. But for now, I will leave you with this picture
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Cadillac Rocks!
Cadillac is the proud Premiere Sponsor of the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in Chicago for the second year in a row!
On SATURDAY, April 14 and SATURDAY, April 21, Chicago area Cadillac dealers will make a $50 donation on a walker's behalf for every test drive!
If you know someone walking in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in Chicago all you need to do is get their 6-digit Participant # to give to Cadillac at the time of the test drive, then the donation will be made to the walker's account.
Don't know a walker but still want to help? I just happen to be walking in the Avon Walk and my Participant # is 242627. Bring your friends and family and I'll get a $50 donation for everyone that gets behind the wheel of a shiny new Cadillac.
The test drivers will receive a receipt validating their test drive. Limit one donation per person. Must be 18 years of age with a valid driver’s license.
List of participating dealers:
Barrington IL, Motor Werks
Bourbonnais IL, David Bruce Auto Center
Chicago IL, Grossinger City Autoplex
DeKalb IL, Sycamore Cadillac
Hammond IL, Napleton Cadillac
Hodgkins IL, Ettleson Cadillac
Joliet IL, Bill Jacobs Cadillac
Libertyville IL, Weil Cadillac
Lincolnwood IL, GrossingerAutoplex
Lombard IL, Heritage Cadillac
Matteson IL, Arnie Bauer Cadillac
McHenry IL, Gary Lang Cadillac
Merrillville IN, Schepel Cadillac
Naperville IL, Cadillac of Naperville
Northbrook IL, Steve Foley Cadillac
Oak Lawn IL, Frank Shirey Cadillac
Schaumburg IL, Patrick Cadillac
Tinley Park IL, Tony Rizza Cadillac
But Cadillac is doing so much more than making donations to the Avon Walk!
The Top 5 Individual Fundraisers will receive the Ultimate Camping Experience from Cadillac!
Five winners will receive a private chauffeured ride* in a Cadillac SRX to the Avon Walk Opening Ceremony on Saturday morning for them and one guest.
They'll spend the night in a luxury-filled tent at the Wellness Village, complete with butler service and foot massages. Sleeping tents will be stocked with air mattresses, pillows, linens, lavish amenities and so much more!
And when the weekend and the walk are all over, a private chauffeured ride home* in a Cadillac SRX after the Closing Ceremony!
Thank you Cadillac for your continued and generous support!
Please call the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer Chicago office for more information or if you have any questions: (773) 248-3120.
If you can't test drive and would like to make a donation please click the link above on the right, which will take you directly to my personal fundraising home page. No donation is too small and is greatly appreciated.
*Ride in Style! Cadillac will provide a driver and an SRX Cadillac as transportation from the location of your choice (within a 50-mile radius of Soldier Field) to the Opening Ceremony and will pick you up from the Closing Ceremony at Soldier Field. Transportation will include you and your guest as long as you are both coming from/going to the same location.
**Winners will be selected from the Top 5 Avon Walk Chicago individual camping fundraisers as of 11:59pm CT on Tuesday, May 15. Only donations appearing in the Avon Walk Participant Center at this time will be included in the fundraising totals. Promotion runs from Monday April 9, 2012 through Tuesday May 15, 2012 at 11:59pm CT. Donations mailed-in but not yet processed or posted will not be included.
Brandie's not: My friend Rita (who is walking with me) wrote this post. And I politely asked her if I could just copy it for my blog and she said yes. Because she is awesome and nice and sweet like that!
On SATURDAY, April 14 and SATURDAY, April 21, Chicago area Cadillac dealers will make a $50 donation on a walker's behalf for every test drive!
If you know someone walking in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in Chicago all you need to do is get their 6-digit Participant # to give to Cadillac at the time of the test drive, then the donation will be made to the walker's account.
Don't know a walker but still want to help? I just happen to be walking in the Avon Walk and my Participant # is 242627. Bring your friends and family and I'll get a $50 donation for everyone that gets behind the wheel of a shiny new Cadillac.
The test drivers will receive a receipt validating their test drive. Limit one donation per person. Must be 18 years of age with a valid driver’s license.
List of participating dealers:
Barrington IL, Motor Werks
Bourbonnais IL, David Bruce Auto Center
Chicago IL, Grossinger City Autoplex
DeKalb IL, Sycamore Cadillac
Hammond IL, Napleton Cadillac
Hodgkins IL, Ettleson Cadillac
Joliet IL, Bill Jacobs Cadillac
Libertyville IL, Weil Cadillac
Lincolnwood IL, GrossingerAutoplex
Lombard IL, Heritage Cadillac
Matteson IL, Arnie Bauer Cadillac
McHenry IL, Gary Lang Cadillac
Merrillville IN, Schepel Cadillac
Naperville IL, Cadillac of Naperville
Northbrook IL, Steve Foley Cadillac
Oak Lawn IL, Frank Shirey Cadillac
Schaumburg IL, Patrick Cadillac
Tinley Park IL, Tony Rizza Cadillac
But Cadillac is doing so much more than making donations to the Avon Walk!
The Top 5 Individual Fundraisers will receive the Ultimate Camping Experience from Cadillac!
Five winners will receive a private chauffeured ride* in a Cadillac SRX to the Avon Walk Opening Ceremony on Saturday morning for them and one guest.
They'll spend the night in a luxury-filled tent at the Wellness Village, complete with butler service and foot massages. Sleeping tents will be stocked with air mattresses, pillows, linens, lavish amenities and so much more!
And when the weekend and the walk are all over, a private chauffeured ride home* in a Cadillac SRX after the Closing Ceremony!
Thank you Cadillac for your continued and generous support!
Please call the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer Chicago office for more information or if you have any questions: (773) 248-3120.
If you can't test drive and would like to make a donation please click the link above on the right, which will take you directly to my personal fundraising home page. No donation is too small and is greatly appreciated.
*Ride in Style! Cadillac will provide a driver and an SRX Cadillac as transportation from the location of your choice (within a 50-mile radius of Soldier Field) to the Opening Ceremony and will pick you up from the Closing Ceremony at Soldier Field. Transportation will include you and your guest as long as you are both coming from/going to the same location.
**Winners will be selected from the Top 5 Avon Walk Chicago individual camping fundraisers as of 11:59pm CT on Tuesday, May 15. Only donations appearing in the Avon Walk Participant Center at this time will be included in the fundraising totals. Promotion runs from Monday April 9, 2012 through Tuesday May 15, 2012 at 11:59pm CT. Donations mailed-in but not yet processed or posted will not be included.
Brandie's not: My friend Rita (who is walking with me) wrote this post. And I politely asked her if I could just copy it for my blog and she said yes. Because she is awesome and nice and sweet like that!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Walking, walking ...
Someone else suggested I rename the blog Journey of
That's because earlier this week I signed up to walk in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. Yep, that's right. 39.3 miles in 2 days.
I've been thinking about it for a while. But the truth was I was too scared to sign-up. So many things to worry about: can I really walk that far? Can I meet my fund-raising minimums? Can I really do it?
But, I saw a friend sign-up. And then another (blogless) friend. And I just knew I couldn't let fear hold me back anymore. And also. I had to remind myself, last summer I survived cancer. So, um, this walk? Yeah. It seems much easier to do than that. Not only that, but walking it with friends who are awesome and have been such amazing supporters of me? Umm, how could I NOT sign up.
It's a big deal. I need to start training. The truth is right now I'm not sure I could walk 3 miles, much less 39. But I have time to train. The walk is June 2-3. And our team has swelled to 8 people and is still growing! I'm so excited to participate. I'm still nervous I might not be able to walk the entire distance. But you know what? Even if I have to stop early .... I'll still be participating in an amazing event and doing a wonderful thing!
Anyway, any and all encouragement and good thoughts for this are very welcomed! And if you are so inclined, please feel free to visit my Avon page and see how I'm doing!
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