#100DaysOfGetBusyLiving

So, I've been home from CancerCon for a bit now, but I came home with so much energy (mental only. I'm still trying to catch up on the physical energy!) and excitement. Which has been a great thing, but of course, leads to this: what next?

What next indeed.

Where to go from here?

I have big ideas. And big dreams.

But.

But.

I'm busy being a mom, wife, and granddaughter.

That's not a bad thing. I enjoy my role as a stay-at-home-mom. I like homeschooling the kids. I enjoy the days we get together. I also know that my time of being busy in these things is quickly approaching an end.

So when I think about possible career paths and being more involved in advocacy, that's a few years down the road. That's for when the kids are all in school. That's for when the kids will need me physically less.

And yes, that will be quite the bittersweet transition for me.

That is all in the future though. Right now I'm here.

So I was thinking. And thinking. And thinking a little bit more.

And it hit me.

Me at CancerCon

Inspired by Stupid Cancer's charter "to ensure that no one affected by young adult cancer go unaware of the age-appropriate support resources they are entitled to so they can get busy living" and by Dragonfly Angel Society's #100DaysFearlessOfCancer, I decided to start my own 100 days project.

And so, starting next Monday, I will begin #100DaysOfGetBusyLiving. 

The key word in there is living - not busy. 

This isn't going to be 100 days of being busy and running around like crazy.  A. I am already busy enough. B. It would break me if I tried. 

It might seem contrary, but my goal is to have more fun, slow down a bit and do things that I enjoy, and just try to be present more. 

Being busy living might mean curling up with a good book. It might mean laying in the yard with the kids deciding what clouds look like. It might mean taking a nature hike and snapping some photos.  It might mean a trip to a new place. It might mean trying a new recipe. Or it might mean finally starting to do yoga like I've been saying I would since, oh, maybe a year ago?

It's all about living. And being. 

I can't just jump up and pull an Eat, Pray, Love or a Wild type trip. But I can still be here and make every day count - even if it's just the little things. Flowers on the table, playing good music while I fold laundry. Something. Anything. This is what I can do. 

So next Monday it begins. An arbitrary date? Yes and no. I could easily say let's start now! But next Monday is my birthday. I will turn 37 years old. And what better way to kick off the next year of my life than by getting busy living? 

Because I'll be honest with you, 5 years ago I didn't actually think I'd see 37. I didn't think I'd get that much time. I know that sounds dramatic, but it didn't feel dramatic in my head. It just felt like that's what would be. 

But it wasn't. And I'm here. So now, I've decided, it's time for me to get busy living. We'll see where these 100 days take me. Because I'm ready. 

What comes next?

Chicago at night

What comes next?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.
I've got one daughter two years away from college. One daughter who is a year away from entering high school (and ending homeschooling). One son who is three years away from making the homeschool-to-public-school switch. This means there should be an eventual return to the work force for me. We're renting a house now. We'd like to buy and soon. We'd like to buy this house. I'm not sure it's in the cards for us financially (see: one child 2 years away from college with a sibling to follow every three years thereafter).

In the next several years, there is going to be a lot of change around here. Not that it's all bad. I love watching my children grow. I love seeing where their paths will take them. While I'll miss my daughter should she go away for college, it will be exciting to see how she picks her school, what she picks to major in. There will be lots of milestones to celebrate, holidays to be together for, birthday parties.

Still. I sit here and wonder what next?

And if I'm being completely honest, the truth is that's what I've been asking myself for the last 5 years.

Cancer. Well, what next?

I still don't know. I still haven't figured it out.

Sometimes I think I'm on the verge of figuring out. Something happens, I feel moved, the excitement blows up like a balloon. But always, always, a pin comes a long, pops that balloon, and I'm left there with lots of uncertainty. Lots of anxiety. Lots of worry. And lots of worrying about what the heck I'm supposed to be doing. Because I just don't know.

I'll tell you something else. I'm really, really, I mean really tired of it all. I'm just tired of it.

How has five years passed and it still feels like just yesterday I was told that I had cancer. Because it just doesn't seem to make sense in my mind.  And this whole time I've been wondering what's next.

You know what I think I realized though? It's not anything about what comes next. I've spent the last 5 years looking for the wrong thing.

It's not about what's next. It's about what's now.

This moment.
Right now.

So I'm trying.
I'm really trying.

It's going to take me time. I wish I could rush and just be where I want to be. So I'm going to try to be patient and, as the cliche goes, take it one day at a time.

Baking Bucket List

Last week I made a fruit tart.
I've been wanting to make a tart for a while, and was excited to get a tart pan for Christmas.
I made it, and somehow, it turned out really good! 

Last year, all I wanted to do was try a poached egg and risotto. I've done both and they actually tasted good. I don't do poached eggs often, but I do make risotto sort of often as a side dish for us.

There are a few other things I've thought about in the back of my mind that I'd like to try to make for myself, if only once, so I decided to make a baking bucket list (well, baking/cooking list, but I like the consonance of the b). Anyway, without further ado and in no particular order at all

Official Baking Bucket List
Focaccia bread
Croissants
Bagels
Donuts
Homemade croutons
Homemade marshmallows
Homemade pasta
Macaroons
Mozzarella sticks with homemade mozzarella
Lemon meringue pie
Chocolate mousse
Apple fritters
Sour dough bread
More than three layer cake
Homemade cheese crackers
Pita bread
Homemade pop tarts
Rosettes
Banana Cream Pie
Cheesecake
French Onion Soup
Popovers
Souffle
Yogurt
Tortillas
Coffee Cake

2016 Goals

Last week I sat down and thought about the goals I wanted to set for 2016. Many of them, as I mentioned in a previous post, are just continuations of last year's goals. That might seem like I'm being lazy or not pushing myself, but that is not the case at all!

I'm working hard towards some really big goals (to get ALL the digital photos edited/organized/arranged), to finish some really labor-intensive projects, and to read almost every book on a list of over 300.

To try to complete all of that, in the span of one year, would be, well, it might make me explode. It would be setting myself up for failure - and who thinks that sounds like fun? Definitely not me. So over a year ago, I broke everything up into year increments, hence, why so many will seem the same. The good news is that today I'm one year closer to completing everything than I was a year ago. And hopefully, in a year, I'll be another year closer.

With all of that said, I present to you my 2016 Goals!

1. Organize 36 folders of digital photos - last year I got through 2008. So I get to start this year in the Jan 2009 folder (by the way, can I insert here that I'm SO thankfully when we first started using digital photography I sorted pictures into monthly photos). You might be wondering, if they are already in their monthly folder, what am I doing? Well, I'm deleting the bad ones, the duplicates, the blurry photos, the photos you accidentally take of the ground while you're walking (oh, is that last one just me?) I'm also tagging faces, tagging locations, and putting in captions where necessary. This is quite a bit of work, but it's already come in handy many times: people asking if I have pictures of them, or of a certain location, etc, etc. So I'll keep plugging alone. 36 folders will probably be about 2-2 1/2 years of pictures, which means this will be an ongoing project for 5ish years, but better to do it a little at a time then not do it at all!

2. Read 50 books, with a minimum of 30 from the Rory Gilmore Reading list - yep, another carry-over from last year. But, this goal pushed me to read more last year than I have in quite some time. And with over 300 books on the Rory Gilmore list, only about 9 years to finish that huge list! But it's good. I like reading. And I need a reminder to turn off the tv more often. Of course, some of these will be audio books - which I can listen to while driving, walking, or working on some projects. Which leads me to the next goal ...

3. Finish the train needlepoint project - I'm not going to lie, I'm so mad I didn't finish last year like I wanted. Even though I was happy that I worked on it so much, I wanted it to be done so I could give it to me son, who has been waiting since late 2011 to get it. So, it would be nice to be done with it! IF, a big if, I finish it earlier enough in the year, I have another cross stitch project that I'll throw in it's place and start to work on (that also needs several years of work at my pace to get finished) BUT nothing new until this is done.

4. Make three things for myself - sew one, knit one, sew three, knit three, however it works out. I want to make myself three things this coming year. I'm not sure quite yet what those three things will be, but I think at least one will be a skirt I've been wanting to make for a few years now. I just need to force myself to sit at the machine and sew!

5. Blog twice per week - I got pretty close to this goal last year, and I think if I just push a bit harder, I'll make it this year. The trick will be to keep doing it next year and the next year!

6. Comment on other blogs three times per week - That's not that much really. And I read a lot of blogs - but usually on my phone where commenting is a pain. So I just need to get on the computer and read and let other bloggers know that hey, I'm here, and I'm reading, and I love your words always. I know how much a comment means to me. I imagine it is just as nice for others to get them too!

7. Cook a new cookbook recipe twice a month - Okay, I love cookbooks. I own a ton. But I don't hardly use them. Mostly because I hate cooking. So I'm going to try to reach into the cookbook collection more often and make keeping the cookbooks on a shelf worth while. Plus, many of them have great baking recipes I should try ;-)

8. Complete organizational tasks - I have 7 tasks spread out through the year that I want to make sure I do this year. This includes organizing the kitchen (due to a much welcomed influx of items over the holiday season), organizing the Christmas items, going through the bathrooms and chucking all the expired medicines, etc. The things that need to get done, but tend to be forgotten about.

9. Organize 6 Stupid Cancer meet-ups in my area - that's one every other month. We have a facebook group, but don't get together for face-to-face meet ups. But I've been attending a Young Survivor Coalition meet up over most of last year and it's a good thing. So I'm going to make it my mission to set up some face-to-face meetings because I think it will be a good thing. Plus, aside from setting goals this year, I did pick a guiding word and the word I picked was Connection. So this fits in nicely with that. I figure, I can have too many connections to others in my life, so here's one way to make them happen!

10. Well, ten is a secret. I mean probably not for you, but maybe for somebody reading this. If I finish it, I'll unveil it at Christmas time. And that's all you get to know about that! ;-)


10 Goals to complete this year. Not too shabby I think. I'll diligently work on them throughout the year, since most will require a lot of time to finish! I'm ready though. I want to get these projects completed because I know it will feel SO SO SO SO SO good. So I'm ready to rock another year!

2015 Goals Review

I started 2015 with some pretty big goals, even if there were only 8 of them. Several of them were large and on-going.

I'll tell you know that I didn't finish them all. I accomplished some. Got close on some of them. And missed the mark on others.

BUT. But despite that, I did put forth a good faith effort. I did work hard. And as I look back, I did accomplish a lot! Since it's good to see the big picture, I thought I would round up what I did manage to accomplish this year here!

1. Make a granny square every weekday of 2015: This one was completed. I made two blankets for our house and one for a friend. I made a lot of granny squares and used up a lot of yarn! And I like the two blankets that are gracing our couches a lot!

2. Read 40 books, with 30 of them being from the Rory Gilmore Reading List: I blew this one out of the water. I read 56 books. A few were children's books, but it was over 18,000 pages that I read (or listened to). I did read 29 off the Rory Gilmore List. Even though it's not the 30 I wanted to read, I'm calling it finished anyway. I could split hairs, but I'm not going to. Because 29 is close enough!

Needlepoint on Jan 11

3. Organize three years worth of digital pictures: I was short 4 months of this goal. However, I went through thousands and thousands and thousands of pictures. I will carry this same goal through to the new year, but I'm going to modify it a bit. Instead of 36 months of pictures, my goal will be 36 folders. Some months have an extra folder for vacations/sporting pictures/etc. Those folders have as many pictures in them as a regular month, and many have even more! If I count folders, I did 37 this past year, so hence I'm calling this one done as well.

4. Organize scrap-booking items/keepsakes: I jumped in and tackled this in January last year so it was done, finished and out of the way for the rest of the year. It's nice to have something to cross off right away!

Needlepoint on Dec 31

5. Finish a train embroidery project: While I worked on this a lot this year, probably about 100 hours of needlepoint, it is not finished. And it still has a lot of work to go. So while this isn't finished, and maybe isn't even half-way finished, I'm happy of what I accomplished. And am quite driven to finish it in 2016!

6. Make money from my knitting: Technically I did. I made and sold one blanket. This isn't quite what I had in mind a year ago, selling things on a regular basis is not on my radar for the time being.

Blanket I made to order!

7. Blog twice a week: I had 92 posts in 2015. With 30 of them being in November. I fell short of this pretty consistently. And while the average overall, is kind of close (1.7 posts per week), I'm calling this not accomplished. And we'll try again next year!

8. Comment on other blogs more: While I did comment more than I had been, I did not comment enough either. But it's good to keep doing this, so in 2016, we'll see this goal again too, but with more direction. Comment more is pretty wide open ... if I left just one comment more than 2014, technically I've done it, right? But not what I had in mind. So hopefully less vagueness in 2016 will get me there!

In the next day or two, I will post 2016 goals. A lot will be the same, or similar. That might not be very exciting, but many of these projects are smaller chunks of larger goals, so I'm okay with repeating several goals for the next 2 or 3 or maybe 10 years (yes, one big goal will take me 10 years to accomplish!). I don't mind having long, long term goals. But I do need to break them down into smaller chunks, hence, each year's goal!

Did you set goals in 2015? How did you do with yours? Share in the comments!

Cookies, cookies, and oh, some more cookies

Every year for the last few ones, we bake a lot of cookies for the holidays.

There are  usually several parties to attend that require us to bring something, so I sign up for desserts.

I know I've said this before, but I love baking. Like love it with all my heart.

Bread, muffins, cupcakes, cookies, pies ... I want to make them all, all of the time!

This year, however, we took our cookie game to the next level.

I finally figured out royal icing.

We made our first meringue cookie.

Both girls were even bigger helps in the kitchen.

And oh my goodness, did we make some pretty phenomenal cookies.

Nothing was overly complicated or complex. Decorating the sugar cookies did take time, but it wasn't hard.

In addition to that, I whipped up some darn cute cupcakes. That turned out a bit sillier than I intended, but after they were done, I loved them for their silliness!

I made my first swiss roll cake. It wasn't perfect - but I managed to roll it without cracking it. It's a feat I'm pretty proud of. Though, I definitely left myself some room for improvement. I mean, Rome wasn't built in a day and my swiss roll cake wasn't perfected in one bake!

And if I'm being honest, I'm proud of myself for trying something new. And shocked it mostly worked the first time.

I've always loved baking. I've always been drawn to it. But lately, it feels like I'm ready to step it up to the next level. Not with crazy complex treats, but learning to make new things, new methods, and really refining skills.

It's fun to feel an old passion get rekindled. It's fun to be in the kitchen and feel confident in doing things I've done before. And it's fun to stand there trying something new while simultaneously praying it turns out okay!

And then, after all of that, you get to sit down and munch on something that tastes good! It's so much fun.

I'm already thinking about what to do over the coming year. New things I'd like to try to make are tarts, cream puffs, and coffee cake. I definitely want to make more bread - loaves, rolls, crusts, etc. It will be so fun to see what else I can pull off in the kitchen in the upcoming year. Thankfully I have a lot of friends and family who will be willing to try what I make!

2015 Goals: February Update

Since it's the last day of the month, that means that it's time to go over the goals I've set for myself this year!

This is really more for me than for you. It's a great way to help keep me on track and good motivation to get things done!

1. Make a granny square every weekday of 2015: Still going. The pile of squares is getting bigger and bigger!

2. Read 40 books, with 30 of them being from the Rory Gilmore Reading List: Four books this month, and three were off of the RGRL. That puts me at 10 books with 6 of them from RGRL!

3. Organize three years worth of digital pictures: Yep, still working on the pictures. It's been fun to look back and see them. I got through 4 months of picture, which is good, because some of the months coming up have a LOT of pictures in them

5. Finish a train embroidery project: Still chugging a long on this one! I stitch and stitch and I only get small sections done at a time, but I'm working on it!

6. Make money from my knitting: Not this month, but I have finished a LOT of projects on my to do list, and once those are done, I'm hoping to get some jobs!

7. On the blogging side of things, it's to blog twice a week: Still not doing two a week on a regular basis! But I think there less days between posts and I'm posting more regularly than last year, so forward progress? Also, I have 17 posts in 8 weeks. So technically I'm averaging twice a week, even if I'm not actually posting twice a week, so that still counts, right?

8. Also related to blogging, I need to be a better commenter on other blogs: Yep, still doing a good job on this!

Overall, I'm pleased with what I'm doing. In addition to this, I've been doing a much better job of not letting laundry pile up, and I've got a pretty good schedule with the cleaning down. I've also worked on organizing the kitchen and feel like it's in pretty good shape. Which is good. I've never been so organized in my life. I still don't have the energy to accomplish a million things each day, but it's amazing how much I can get done just by doing 3-5 things each day!

How about you? Still going with your 2015 goals and resolutions?

2015 Goals: January Update

So I set some goals for 2015, and I thought, more to help keep me on track than anything else, I would post a monthly update to see where things stand. Since it's the last day of the month, it seems like a good time to see how it's going, so here we go!

1. Make a granny square every weekday of 2015: So far, so good! I've managed to make one each day. One day it was made minutes before midnight, but done, so it counts!

2. Read 40 books, with 30 of them being from the Rory Gilmore Reading List: I've read 6 books already total and 3 from the RGRL, so I think that's a pretty good pace!

3. Organize three years worth of digital pictures: I've been through three months this month. I figure if I can do 3 months of pictures each month this year, I'll get my three years of pictures done! I started with September 2006, so we'll see where I end!

4. Organize scrapbooking items/keepsakes: Done and done! Everything is done already. I thought it would take more time, but once I jumped in, I just kept going. Plus everything was all spread out and a big mess. Since I finished that, I went ahead and worked on organizing some other areas too and it's gorgeous and I love it and I hope we can keep it that way!

5. Finish a train embroidery project: I've spent quite some time stitching. I can tell that work has been done ... however, there's still so much to do. I will keep pushing though!

6. Make money from my knitting: I have one crochet "job" that I won't finish for a while, but it can count, right? And here's to hoping it opens some more doors?

7. On the blogging side of things, it's to blog twice a week: Nope, right now I'm averaging once a week. But I figure that's okay. At the end of the year, I hope the average will be twice a week!

8. Also related to blogging, I need to be a better commenter on other blogs: Yep, I've upped the comments I'm leaving and it feels good to do so!


Overall, things are going well. I'd like to blog more, but, also given my progress on the other goals (with one already done!) I'm not going to sweat it for now.

In general I'm also trying to stay on top of chores and just being more organized in general. This does not come naturally to me, so it's not always easy! I'm trying though. And really that's all I can do! And I've finally found a system that is helping me more than any other thing I've tried has helped. I've been using it for a few months now, so it's well tested.

Of course, I need to blog about that, and the books I've read, and share pictures of my granny-square-a-weekday, and of my embroidery. Wait, why aren't I blogging twice a week? I've got a lot to catch up on! 

Random Things

Yesterday I promised I'd share about ChiTag today, except then I got hit with a massive headache, so instead, I'll give a series of random things from November so far.

1. I tried to make homemade yogurt this month. I ended up making room temperature milk. I will try again though. I swear.

2. I did make the best batch of chicken broth I've ever made last week. I guess it balances out the yogurt!

3. I'm so far behind on knitting projects that I am not sure I'll ever catch up, but I'm knitting my fingers off as often as I can.

4. I'm bummed I'm behind because I'd like to actually catch up and get to the point where I can sell my knitting. Maybe not a lot, but a couple things a month wouldn't be so bad.

5. I'm motivated to sell knitting because I'm currently saving for a new camera. I've been saving since the start of this year. I was hoping to be able to buy in time for Christmas, but at the rate I've been able to save, it might be more like Easter before I get it.

6. Last week I learned my cholesterol was high. So I had to get a fasting lipid test to see a breakdown of numbers. Still no results back yet. Boo.

7. I still haven't made the dress I talked about making here. Maybe this weekend?

8. I started playing this game called 2 Dots. Have you played it? Do you like it? I mostly like it, until I get stuck on a level for too long!

9. I've been dreaming lately of going to New York. A lot. It's completely and totally out of the cards, but if my dream could come true: I would go to New York with two suitcases - one full, one empty. I would see the sites: Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Empire State, World Trade Center Memorial, etc. I would see one Broadway show, maybe a second. And I would visit Mood and buy enough fabric to fill most of the empty suitcase but actually fill the rest with yarn from some shop or another. Again, it won't happen. But I can dream, can't I?

10. I've been unable to really get into books lately. I started a few but just can't get into them (including Gone Girl and The Goldfinch). I hope that soon I can find a book to really sink my teeth into.

Random Thoughts

July is almost over. Where did it go?

We've been busy. We're always busy. Do does that mean we're not busy and we're just normal?

Miss 11 modeling the shirt she made

It's County Fair Week. Once again my 4-H'er had lots of projects to turn in. Which meant lots of projects to finish. Which meant me trying to help, without helping, because they are after all, her projects and not mine. We found a good balance this year with it though, so that was good! She worked really hard and I'm proud of her. She got some pretty good ribbons too - not that that is the point, but it sure is a nice thing!

My cancer is not back. I know, I know, weird statement to make. Except in June I wasn't feeling very well at all. I went to the primary care who tested for a heck of a lot of things, only to say she couldn't find anything and I needed to go to the oncologist as she was worried there might be cancer in my bones. So, yeah, that was a few weeks of awful sleep and lots of worry. And oh, not really talking about it because it was probably nothing so no need to worry anyone so don't tell anyone. Which was smart, because it is nothing. So there is no need to worry.

Except, I'm still exhausted all the time. Thanks to some good pain killers though, I am no longer in excruciating pain which is good. I must have hurt my rib cage somehow (and no, I don't know how and there were no bumps or bruises or red spots), but it hurt. A lot. But it's much better now.

Which you can tell if you look at my fitbit stats ... my steps were pretty low for a bit. But now they are more "normal" and I'm breaking 10,000 steps more and more often. I like walking so it's good that I can do it now without wanting to cry. Plus, let's be honest, I like to be in the top 5 on my friends list - though some of my friends are making this hard to do, as 4 of them average about 20,000 steps a day. I'm not ready to compete with that yet, but I'll get as close as I can!

Me, on a bike ;-)

I've also started taking small bike rides. We live so close to so many things, and while I like to walk there, the kids enjoy riding bikes a lot more. I haven't gone over a few miles yet (don't laugh at me please!) but even still, my thighs feel like jelly when we are done. I have a goal to bike 20 miles between now and the end of August. Which is sad, small goal compared to some people, but it's perfect for me. So I'll take it and try to get there. Plus, before we know it, winter will be here and I won't want to be outside at all, so getting some biking in now is a good move.

Speaking of activity, I just got released from occupational therapy. Which I've been doing since the end of May for my lymphedema arm. I had some cording issues come back and everything was just tight, tight, tight. But we broke up the cording, loosened things up, and all is well. So no more going. Which is great because it's quite a time investment to do it. Though, I love my therapist. I would happily go sit at starbucks for hours and chat with her. But I'm glad I don't need to see her for therapy. Of course, I was released from therapy last August and ended back up there again this year. So we'll see how long before I do have to go back. Hopefully not too soon!

Other than that, August means back to school, with a child entering school. For real. Not homeschooled anymore. Gulp. I'm going to miss her when she's away, but I know this is going to be awesome for her! August means camp for the two younger ones. Sleep-away camp. For a week. This is their second year going though, so everyone is a lot less nervous than last year! It also means the start of a small vacation for Miss 11, who will be getting to go visit the grandparents by herself for a week! The oldest did it around this same age, so I guess now we can call it an official tradition!

There are about a million more things to tell you, a million more things racing around in my mind, but for today, I think this is enough!

Hope everyone is having a great Friday and it's followed by a fabulous weekend!

GPS To Your True Wealth

Note: I am being compensated for sharing this information for you. However, as always, all my opinions are my own! 

So, the bonus to not having any insurance (which is only being typed half-sarcastically) is that I have more time on my hands this month. No therapy appointments, no blood draws, no doctor's visits, no tests to be ordered, nothing. It is kind of, well, nice. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather have insurance, but the break from the poking, prodding, driving to and fro is nice.

And since I've been home, I've been able to do more more things. I've cooked a bit more than I usually do. Okay, a lot more since I cooked maybe once a month before and relied on my husband, kids, left overs before. I've had more time to watch Netflix (related: watch Fringe. It's awesome. I just saw the final episode and they ended it well). And I've had time to be on-line a bit more.

So last week I sat at the computer, with twitter open in one tab and the Chicagonisata LIVE in another tab. This is a monthly on-line talk show that streams from Chicago and is a fabulous Chicago show, but seriously, don't think you need to be in Chicago to watch it because there's great info and lots of fun packed into each show! I was extra happy to catch it because they were broadcasting from the Chicago Board of Trade and were kicking off a 6 part series called GPS To Your True Wealth. Let's be honest here folks - between the medical issues we've had for the last few years and then job loss, car purchase, etc, to say the finances in this house need a little work would be a huge understatement. (side note: this is not to say that we can't feed or cloth ourselves).

We had built up an emergency fund before (I've blogged about it here), which we used during the emergency of my health issues, but we'd like build it up again, as we've essentially used it all. It is time for us to rebuild. We've done it before, so it's not entirely new to us, and yet, this time it feels different. We are at a different point in life, the kids are at different ages, and while there is no cancer, I still have health issues we have to juggle. Not to mention college for the kids is much closer. Medical costs are so much higher now and the kids only cost more as they age. So I feel a bit overwhelmed just thinking about it all. I might even be slightly hyperventilating as I type this out. Again, we aren't going to starve, but things are very tight and we definitely need to work on being frugal. So much feels unknown at this point - there's a new job, I wonder if I will ever be healthy again, the kids are getting older, and to have the security of that emergency fund again would give us peace.

So, anyway, I tuned into Chicagonista LIVE and felt myself nodding along to so much of what they were talking about. It wasn't just about money either - but also talking about what is important to you if you could take money out of the equation. Because, really, if you don't know what's important to you without money, how will you know what to do with your money? There was a nice reminder to me that I needed to be involved with the finances. I kind of am involved, but I'm really not. I get depressed doing bills with my husband because so many are for my medical things and I feel all sad inside, so I try to avoid it. However, as they talked about on the show, all the adults in a household need to be on board with the finances and to know where things are at always. Yes, I agree. Yes, this is the motivation I needed to jump back in the game! So, I'm watching the show, nodding along, listening to all that's being said, tworking (tweeting while working, which okay, I don't really work, but being a mom is a job so I can say I tworked right? LOL!), feeling pretty motivated and ready to tackle it all. Which is perfect, because they gave us homework to do.

So, I know homework doesn't sound that exciting, but a) I like homework and b) it wasn't hard and c) it is a great starting (or restarting as the case may be) point. I eagerly printed the worksheet off and then waited for Eric to fill it out together. As you can see, the emergency fund is our focus right now. Ideally, 6 months of living expenses would be in it when it's full! The second question was hard for me - it asks about what life events could impact your finances. For us, it was a no-brainer: my health. Which was hard to write down, but it is what it is and I can't ignore that. The last question is about what wealth aside from money do you want to pass along in your family. I love this question because life is so much more than money. We need it to survive obviously - no one's going to get groceries on an upbeat personality, but sometimes it's easy to forget it just isn't all about money!

It also asks you to round up your bills, receipts, important financial papers, etc for the next segment (oh, did I mention yet? There will be a total of 6 segments in this series! So, I guess I will have to start scheduling doctors appointment around these shows because I do not want to miss them). So this part was easy for us, we already have everything organized into a couple of folders and a filing system, etc. If you don't though (because we haven't always been so organized) it can seem daunting to get it all together, but I promise you, you will not regret it! So do it - it's best done in the just-dive-in-head-first-and-get-it-done fashion I think!

And now I will sit and impatiently waiting for the second segment of the series to air (October 8 if you want to mark it in your calendar!) which will be about navigating and tracking! This is going to be an awesome series overall I think - the chunks are small enough that it doesn't seem overwhelming, but a lot of great information is being shared!

Right now, you are probably thinking, Brandie, I need to get in on this! Because finances are so FUN and I LOVE them! So. Okay, maybe you don't really think finances are fun - confession: neither do I. But, they are important, and I want to be in control of my finances and not have my finances in control of me. So, I suggest you start with this video, it's short and sweet and does a great job of introducing the series!




Then you need to print out the first worksheet from here - put your goals, your (hypothetical or not) hurdles, your dreams down on paper. (I love this step because for me, putting them on paper makes them seem more concrete and more real.)

Then come and watch the rest of the series. The next two segments air:

• October 8, 2013  2pm CST
• November 12, 2013  2pm CST

I will update when the last three segments will air as soon as the website lists them, though in general, they are all the 2nd Tuesday of the month!

I'm excited. This is good timing for our house ... I hope it's as good of timing for your house as well. Maybe things are tight for you, or maybe you feel like you just don't have good control of the finances, or maybe things are looking good and you just want them to look better - I think there is something for everyone in this series. And I hope you follow along with me!

3 words ...

Alright, so I know it's February and I'm a little bit behind. To be fair, January wasn't exactly the best month for me.

Anyway, I actually picked these three words a few weeks ago, but haven't managed to make it over here to share with you. {on a related side tangent, I really haven't been on my computer much lately and it's not necessarily a bad thing, other than I haven't been over here much}. But, anyway, last year I picked three words to guide my year. I think they were good ones: celebrate, enjoy, heal. I may not have always been feeling them, but I did more than I didn't.

Sometime in mid-December I started to think about what words I would pick for 2013. Last year the words came to me pretty quickly but this year I had to really think about it. And I thought about it. And thought some more. And then, just a little bit more. But one day it hit me and my words came to me.

Learn. Explore. Grow.

I like these words. I feel like I can head a lot of different directions with them (and they've already helped motivate me to sign-up for some fun things I'll share soon!)

Now, I'm not an artist. I like to play around with drawing and coloring, but I have no hopes of seeing my pictures on a gallery wall somewhere. And I'm really okay with that. I'm still going to play around and have fun. Last year, I talked about turning my words into some sort of artwork and then never did. So this year, almost immediately I did something.

{side note: I used the Paper by fifty three iPad app. I love it. I even bought the extras. And no, I was not compensated to tell you about it. I just love it that much}

So there you go. My words for the year. Can't wait to see where they help take me!

What about you? Any words/resolutions/guides for the new year?

Reading!

Are you a reader? Are you on Goodreads yet? If you are not, you need to join. Then become my friend, so I can stalk, err, see what you read.
If you are already on Goodreads, then you also need to become my friend so I can stalk, err, see your books as well! ;-)

A long time ago, I used to read a lot. I'm hoping to get back in that habit, so I like seeing what others are reading. It helps motivate me to pick up a book if I see other people like it!

That said, I'm also joining the Goodreads 2013 Reading Challenge. I picked 24 books - 2 a month. Last year (2012) I read 11, so it would be more than double!

2013 Reading Challenge

Brandie has
read 0 books toward her goal of 24 books.

hide

0 of 24 (0%)

view books

Anyway, if you are over there, friend me!

Xoxo,
Brandie

P.S. This is not a sponsored post. I just like goodreads that much ;-)
P.P.S. Another pre-written post for you =)

One down ...

In January, I shared my bucket list with you all.

And in February, I was able to cross something off. Just before a snow storm came into Chicago, my mom and I took off and headed to Las Vegas.

{Side note: I must tell you how this trip came to be. In December on one of my trips to the ER, I called my mom pretty much bawling. And she said something along the lines of "Just get better and when you do I'll take you to Vegas" And I was all, okay, I'll try really hard to get better then. And still crying and all that. Later I assumed this wasn't actually a serious offer, but alas, it was. I know. My mom does spoil me}

We arrived late on a Thursday and even though I should have gone right to bed, I took a little time to just look around and soak it all in. Also, Las Vegas is always hopping. We didn't do too much though because we had to be up very early on Friday, because we had booked a tour to go and see the Grand Canyon.

Okay. The Grand Canyon. I can't even describe just how amazing it is. It goes for what feels like forever. Pictures do not do it justice. Seeing it? Made me feel so small. And made the world seem so big. I could have spent the entire trip right at the canyon. (also do people who live out there ever just get used to it? Or does it always remain so amazing in their eyes?).


We walked out onto the skywalk - which is SO very cool.

I could have happily just sat there all day long!

I still can't get over just how big. And amazing. And awesome it was.

Then we headed back to Vegas. I was SO exhausted by this point. Okay, I have to totally admit, I fell asleep at the picnic table for lunch. I'm kind of embarrassed by this. And in my head I imagine people were thinking "You came all this way, to this wonderful place, and are sleeping?" We stopped by the Hoover Damn on the way back too, but I was barely awake enough to get out of the bus, look, and then get back in to sleep!

We stayed at Caesars!!

We got back into Vegas and I, naturally, napped some more. And then we ate and hit the hotel's mall and casino. (Also, these are not hotels in Vegas, they are like complete complexes. I've never been to a hotel with a mall in it. LOL!)

At the mall I got an awesome coat. Which I love. A lot. And we walked around and of course, we had to get a drink. I mean, we were in Vegas. The drink felt about as tall as me. (I'd like to take this moment and say we were very responsible and didn't do anything we needed to regret the next day. Nor did I do anything I couldn't tell my husband. That said, it doesn't mean I will tell all the stories here ;-) )

I did a little bit of gambling. I also learned I am the most unlucky gambler in the world LOL! I didn't even break even. But, it was okay. We had a blast =) And also, my mom is much more lucky than I am.  Although she didn't win the 12 million jack-pot on one of the slots even though I wished so hard she would!

And then, it was time for me to just crash. =)

The fun didn't end there, but I'll have to come back and tell you about the rest of the trip later!

Bucket List

Over Thanksgiving weekend we traveled to St. Louis to visit some family. We had a very wonderful time (as we always do!). Someday, maybe, I'll have to share pictures because we went to this cute Christmas village that was amazing. But, that's for another date.

We travel down there every Thanksgiving weekend and sometimes in the spring. Usually I'm excited about it because it means 5ish hours of knitting {or some similar project in the car}. This trip was different though ... knitting was out of the question for a variety of reasons - but mostly because I was in pain and just couldn't work on it.

Anyway, I spent the first hour or so pretty much pouting about this. But then I started talking. And my poor husband, because once I get going, I do not stop. And as I was chit-chatting somehow we came around to bucket lists. And right there in the car I started a bucket list! I've never made one before so it was kind of fun. So, without further ado, here is my bucket list!

• Go to Las Vegas {no! I've never been before!}
• Go on a knitting retreat weekend {or a whole week, I won't be picky!}
• Hike a {small} mountain
• Take a photography class
• Girls weekend {again, I've never done this, but it would be so fun, wouldn't it?}
• Go to taping of Wait, Wait ... Don't Tell Me {it's in Chicago, wanna go with me?}
• Learn to play piano
• Learn to speak Swedish {what, no one said I had to pick practical things}
• Visit Sweden {bet you didn't see that one coming lol!}
• Go to top of St. Louis Arch {seen it, driven by it, never been up it!}
• Go to top of Statue Liberty {nope, never even been to New York period}
• Give back {not sure specifically how. Still searching on this one}
• Knit hats for hospital
• Enter my knitting into some sort of fair/competition {even if I get last place, I can say I did it}
• Attend Blogher {or another similar conference}

My husband informs me some of these aren't BIG enough for a bucket list. So I informed him that he was wrong. And I'm always right. So there. LOL!

And I know at least one of these things will happen this year. It will be fun if I can knock several things off this list, but we'll just have to see how the year unfolds!

Have you made a bucket list? Share!

Happy New Year!

Hope you all had a wonderful new year and that 2011 is a wonderful year for you and your family. I hope that whatever year 2010 was for you, that you have some really great memories to hold onto in your heart from it.

Although my 2011 is starting with a lot of sadness, we still rang the new year in in a good way. Which was nice. And better than sitting at home doing nothing (which was our other option). We drove about 5 hours into Wisconsin and hung out with my dad's side of the family. 3 males in the family are getting married this year - all to nice fiances I think. So there was lots of hanging out and a surprise game like the old Newlyweds game - and they were all great sports about it. The kids played, I talked, snapped a few pictures, relaxed a bit and had a lovely evening.

Of course, at midnight we all gathered and sand Auld Lang Syne and welcomed 2011. I took my traditional midnight photograph of the kids. (on a related note the first time they are not with me on new year's eve, not being able to snap this picture will be the saddest part of it. I might have to make them promise to get a friend to take the picture!!) I've done this every year since my oldest was 2 months old! Even taking it of them if they are sleeping! Or if they happen to be 5 and overtired and not very cooperative at the time (ahem. You'll see!)








Anyway, happy new year! =)

Also, head on over to Dupage Mamas to see why I won't be making resolutions this year!

More on Resolutions

One of my resolutions this year is for our family to pay off all our debt. I talked more about my debt over here. So when I came across Angie's Debt Buster Club, I knew I had to join!

All of our debt is one credit card. Most of it is debt from when dh started up his side business. The business has been unable to repay us what we loaned to it, and so we have been unable to pay off this debt (I want to chime in here and say though, the business has saved us much more than this amount and so I don't regret dh starting it. BUT we will never do that again unless we can do it without taking on debt)

Here is the info:
Debt: 14,624.22
interest: 303.47 is at a HUGE 11.15 APR and the rest 14,495.09 is at 6.11 APR (total of 83.15 in December)
Minimum payment: 229.19

I believe last year we paid off 6000 of this debt. Also, they are only applying our payments to the 6.11% APR. Blech.

We have already mailed the January payment of 300. We have it set up in our bank account to auto pay citibank 300 every month. Last year, when we had extra we sent it in. I believe last Jan, the min payment was 290 and we could only scrounge up 10 dollars extra to pay that month! (but hey, still, paying over the min - no matter how small helps so we tried to not get too depressed about it LOL).

So this year we need to find 14,624.22 + interest to them. 9,000 more than last year!

Where will the money come from?
Good question. One we haven't entirely worked out. We know where some will come from:

• Cut back on spending. pull a few areas of the budget back as far as possible.
• I have already told where I worked last summer, that I am willing to work again this year.
• grow more food this summer to lower food costs
• Cut way back on savings
• Mortgage payment is dropping this year. The bummer - we don't know by how much. We can shift the difference to the credit card. (and no, not because it's an ARM - we have a standard 30 year loan. However, our mortgage companies pays our real estate taxes. Taxes didn't go up as expected last year so we have enough in our escrow that they are lowering our contribution. We fully expect to go under the required amount this year and for it to increase next year - which is what happened in 2008 LOL)

Aside from that, it will mostly be giving up things. I wanted to attend blogher. That is now out of the question. I turn 30 this year. We talked about having a nice party for it. We are giving that up. The kids will have no birthday parties this year - which is fine. We keep it to every other year anyway, and they all had them last year. I had planned on taking some sewing classes - again, they will all have to wait. Gas has dropped - so we plan to pay less this year for that than last year - which will be good! We don't have much we can sell around here - but I am planning on putting a few things on craigslist. Also, we need to declutter the house, so maybe we'll find a few more things to sell? I think, though, most of it will be small and will probably just go to the goodwill! I might reopen my etsy store - with completely different products though! We'll see. I'm not completely sold it will be worth it.

The good news is that we have a bit of savings set aside. Although we are following Dave Ramsey's baby steps, we decided given the current climate right now, we needed to have more than 1,000 in savings even though debt is paid off. Because dh works with advertising and he's watching competitors go out of business more often than we feel comfortable with, we built up some savings at the end of last year - enough for 2 months of expenses. We are hoping the economy turns around and that if we get debt down low enough, we can just pull out the money from savings. We don't have saved what we owe, but we could pull out 5,000 and pay off any remaining debt if we feel dh's job is secure!

At this point though, we know that we probably won't make much of a dent into savings until the second half of the year. Medical deductibles reset in January. Also, life insurance is due. And car insurance. And our dentist appointments are all in January. The only thing we won't be worrying about in January? Christmas expenses because we save a bit for those all year and had the money we needed in December. ::phew:: But most of "extra" income comes in September and October - my dh works a second job and his business operates then (so I guess really he works 2 extra jobs on top of regular day job) and I also make some extra money then as well. But, every month, anything we can pay on top of that minimum balance is good I think!

... A New Beginning

So the other day I told you about my big epiphany and how I was going to use it to set high goals for myself for 2009!

So I sat down one day and thought - really thought - about the goals I want to set for myself.

My first step was to write down what I wanted my ideal day to look like - if I could snap my fingers right now and change my day, what would I change it to. And I wrote, from details such as to how to schedule things to how I wanted to feel and how my surroundings would look. I also kept in the back of my head "if I had one year to live, how would I want that year to look" and wrote and wrote. Which was good in so many ways and really gave me a TON of direction. Now I have a picture - in words - of what I am working to. I'll liken it to people who cut out a picture of a house and carry around in their wallet so that when they shop, they have a reminder of what they are saving for to help them spend money wisely. I now have that for myself and it was VERY helpful.

I read over all of all that and then wrote what is going on today that is disconnect with how I want a day to look. Which, might have been the hardest part because when you do that you have to admit your flaws and shortcomings. Which isn't always oh so fun. But I did it.

After that I made of list of changes - both big and small - that I could make in order to bridge that gap. That was actually the fun part (although I haven't finished it entirely). It also helps fill you with hope because you think, okay, if I can manage to do this one thing, I'll be one step closer to where I want to be.

Then I added goal dates to those items. Because, let's face it, I need all the motivation I can get ROFL!! This was hard because I had to keep them realistic without giving myself too much time to procrastinate and also, I had to decide where to start, where to end, what goes in the middle. Which also means I had to prioritize my goals!

The main focus of 2009 for me will be getting organized. Because I am not organized right now and after I thought about it, I realized that is probably what is keeping me from finishing other tasks I want to accomplish. You can't stay on top of things very well if you can't find things you need, can't find an empty spot on the counter to work, can't keep appointments and other places to be straight and can't sit to relax because the piles around you are too distracting. I also decided to completely eliminate my 101 in 1001 list. Because it just makes sense for me to do that right now.

Anyway, you'll have to read about this all year long, because I'll be sharing my goals and progress! I know, you are SOOO excited to hear that =) I'm calling it "2009: My Time To Shine" (yes, cheesy, I know, but I like it LOL!) and have also started a group over at the Motherhood so come join us!! =)

A new year ...

is going to start soon! And with the year comes a chance to turn over a new leaf, set goals and resolutions, change our lives and make the upcoming year be the BEST ONE EVER.

Right, well, isn't that what all the chatter is starting December 26th usually? And Oprah does shows about how this is your year. And so do about one million other television stations.

But, well, I SO want 2009 and to really and truly be my year! For a while now - since summer, I have known things around my house needed to change. And oh how I said things were going to change. Look over to the right and you can see my operation purge. We started out with a bang, but we've stopped. We didn't reach our goal. It hasn't been for lack of desire. In fact, 2 weeks ago I actually called a few personal organizers to get quotes for having them come help me get things in order (they are all out of my budget). So last week I checked out a huge book about how to organize pretty much everything.

And I immediately did what I always do and made the same old list: get rid of clutter, don't stay up so late, stop drinking so much pop. Which so far has gotten me nowhere. And then it hit me. I'm approaching this all wrong.

I need to stop thinking about what I don't want and focus on what I do want.

Because if I know what I want, then I have a direction and a goal and a clear picture in my head. Let's take the clutter example. I don't want clutter. But, in truth, clutter is subjective. But if I say, for instance, I only want enough fabric that will fit on that shelf, well, then I know how much to get rid of - everything that won't fit!

Now this felt like a major epiphany for me. Changing the goals from what I don't want to what I do want feels really good already. I just hope I can keep this feeling to accomplish all the goals I have set for myself for 2009!

Just stuff ...

Well, things are kind of back to normal around here - although, really they aren't.
I do want to say that the mom's club I'm in brought me dinner tonight (which was so welcomed and frankly needed) and it just touched my heart. And I've gotten some very nice messages from people - including here, so thank you so much for that. It has all been extremely appreciated.

A few weeks ago Emily (from been there) sent me a quote in the mail that read "May every risk you take bring you to wide open spaces where HOPE and Joy await."

I've been staring at that quote a lot. I've actually moved the paper she wrote it on around the house so that I can look at it in different places. I suppose this might make me weird or just plain crazy, but I'm pretty sure most of you figured out I am a bit weird and crazy a while ago! Anyway, this quote has been stuck in my mind definitely.

First I thought a lot about that word hope. I tend to not have hope many times - we could analyze that to death I'm sure. But I think a lot of times, I just expect the worst. I just can't understand that the worst usually doesn't happen and probably won't happen that time either. But truly, very rarely does the worst happen. And I don't always need to focus on that - I could actually become a glass is half full kind of gal, and be filled with a sense of hope. And how would that change my daily outlook? I think it would change a lot honestly. And it's so easy to sit here and type it, but certainly not easy to put it into practice.

But now the word risk is sticking in my mind. I am generally NOT a risk taker at all. In fact, I tend to hate risk. I just hate it. I like safe. I like the same. I like no risk! I'm sure this limits me a lot too! I tend to not take chances. I tend to not try new things. I tend to shy away from things that scare me or make me nervous or make me uncomfortable, etc, etc, etc. Risk and me are not good friends. We are barely acquaintances - and frankly, I think that's not a good thing at this point in my life.

So, as risk floated around in my head more. And as it just wouldn't leave my mind, I thought of something else - the word of the year (which I first heard referenced on Creative Mom Podcast but she heard it from Ali Edwards) and I just knew, I just knew, even though we are almost through 2 months of the year, risk is my word of the year. And it's a word that I need to keep tucked away in the back of my head for a while.

So, yes. I have a word of the year now. I claim risk. I hope I can do more with that word than just claim it, I hope I can live it. I hope I can take risks this year.