These are the days I wish I hadn't signed up for NaBloPoMo ... the days I have nothing of substance to say and where I feel my words are more of a waste than worth anything.
Alas, I did sign-up, so here I am writing.
Today has been a gray, cloudy, rainy day. I have had a headache since last night that I can make not as painful, but can't seem to get it to go away. I went to the doctor. Again. To complain about some tummy issues (ps this is how you can tell I have kids. I find people with kids almost always say tummy and those without (or with grown children) say stomach. Just a random thought thrown in).
It was a good doctor's appointment. I have a great primary care physician. She listens and I never feel rushed when I'm there. That's a good thing because too often I hear about people who feel rushed in and out of the doctor's office and never have a chance to breathe, let alone ask a question or two.
I didn't sleep well last night, and my head was pounding, and I was telling her I just feel crappy all. the. time. And that's about when I started to cry, well more tear up. I'm emotional, it's who I am. This is just how it is. I'm okay with it and feel very angry when people tell me to toughen up or that I'm a baby for crying (which thankfully happens almost never). So I sat there and had tears and the doctor offered me kleenex and patted my leg and said she understood.
And we moved on and talked about a few things and I left feeling mostly better but also a little worried. Because not only do I cry a lot, but I'm awesome at worrying and being anxious. I'm starting a new medicine. Well, technically a vitamin (I think?) - magnesium to be exact. Which, if it's going to help should do so soon. And if it doesn't help, well, let's not go there for the moment, because I'm really hoping it helps.
Here's the thing. I just want to feel good. I don't feel good very often. Between stomachaches, headaches, fatigue and a few trigger points for pain, I often feel pretty darn icky. I'm so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. So I'm really really really (no, I mean really) hoping the magnesium works. And soon I will be feeling better. Maybe not quite to good so quickly, but better would be a step in the right direction.