Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Another Day

My head is bouncing around with so very much right now, and yet, I can't manage to put any of it into words. Strange, I know.

Headache. Again. Not as bad as over the weekend though, so I'll take it. I also had my brain MRI today, and let me tell you, that certainly didn't help any. Essentially, my head was put in a vice (not literally, but it felt like it because you can't move your head at all). Then there is a lot of loud noises. Sometimes I could feel it vibrating. I'm not sure it actually vibrating, since you aren't supposed to move at all, but it felt like it was vibrating my whole body. But, apparently I did good at not moving because according to the MRI technician (is that what they are called?) we didn't need to redo any of the pictures.

I'm still not worried very much about it, I don't think anything will show up. Hence, why I talk about it so much. If I'm really worried about something being wrong, I generally am tight-lipped about it. No use worrying anyone until we need to worry. Though, one of my children pointed out (after telling her the doctor was positive nothing was really wrong), that was the same thing one doctor said when we found my breast cancer, so were we supposed to worry or not? And that sums up why I don't like talking about these tests, scans, etc, until I've already gotten the all-clear.

Anyway, my head still feels all jumbled. Like I can't hold an entire conversation without pausing, thinking, and saying quite frequently well, you know what I mean because I can't find the right words. Because my head is almost always pounding and it's really hard to think when you feel like your brain might completely explode. Right then and there. So I've been hiding out so to say, not really talking to people, laying low, etc. It's just what I need to do right now for me.

The pain is easing. Yesterday I felt a little better. Today I felt better (until the MRI) so I am hopeful that this period of headaches will pass, hopefully sooner and not later. Because I won't lie. This is getting so taxing on me. I realize they are just headaches. But having them so frequently is just sucking me dry.

But tomorrow is a new day! And I've got big plans for the weekend and I am hoping beyond hope that nothing interferes with them - no headaches or nothing!

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