Well, things are kind of back to normal around here - although, really they aren't.
I do want to say that the mom's club I'm in brought me dinner tonight (which was so welcomed and frankly needed) and it just touched my heart. And I've gotten some very nice messages from people - including here, so thank you so much for that. It has all been extremely appreciated.
A few weeks ago Emily (from been there) sent me a quote in the mail that read "May every risk you take bring you to wide open spaces where HOPE and Joy await."
I've been staring at that quote a lot. I've actually moved the paper she wrote it on around the house so that I can look at it in different places. I suppose this might make me weird or just plain crazy, but I'm pretty sure most of you figured out I am a bit weird and crazy a while ago! Anyway, this quote has been stuck in my mind definitely.
First I thought a lot about that word hope. I tend to not have hope many times - we could analyze that to death I'm sure. But I think a lot of times, I just expect the worst. I just can't understand that the worst usually doesn't happen and probably won't happen that time either. But truly, very rarely does the worst happen. And I don't always need to focus on that - I could actually become a glass is half full kind of gal, and be filled with a sense of hope. And how would that change my daily outlook? I think it would change a lot honestly. And it's so easy to sit here and type it, but certainly not easy to put it into practice.
But now the word risk is sticking in my mind. I am generally NOT a risk taker at all. In fact, I tend to hate risk. I just hate it. I like safe. I like the same. I like no risk! I'm sure this limits me a lot too! I tend to not take chances. I tend to not try new things. I tend to shy away from things that scare me or make me nervous or make me uncomfortable, etc, etc, etc. Risk and me are not good friends. We are barely acquaintances - and frankly, I think that's not a good thing at this point in my life.
So, as risk floated around in my head more. And as it just wouldn't leave my mind, I thought of something else - the word of the year (which I first heard referenced on Creative Mom Podcast but she heard it from Ali Edwards) and I just knew, I just knew, even though we are almost through 2 months of the year, risk is my word of the year. And it's a word that I need to keep tucked away in the back of my head for a while.
So, yes. I have a word of the year now. I claim risk. I hope I can do more with that word than just claim it, I hope I can live it. I hope I can take risks this year.