I am just feeling a bit blech with this blog right now.
All my steam for crafting has left ... and I can't find it. It feels like we are still trying to return to "life as normal" in light of all that happened last week. And while I am not expecting those pangs of sadness or the occasional falling of tears to be gone ... I just thought by now my house would be clean, I'd have completed a few more projects, I wouldn't feel so tired, etc, etc ...
But here's the thing ... we weren't home hardly at all last week. Which was actually good - we spent a lot of time together as a family. Except it was the the adults who were together while the kids ran around. Sunday we really kind of were all home at the same time and had actual downtime! And Monday being home and seeing what was here really hit me.
First of all, I had hardly any food here! My son woke up with an asthma flare-up and so breathing treatments have been administered a lot this week. Laundry needed to be done. Floors washed. Dishes taken care of. And we were ALL just exhausted and worn out and had out of schedule sleep patterns.
Well, fortunately help was on the way. The Mommy and Me group that I am in so KINDLY brought us a honey baked ham on Monday with two sides. LIFE SAVER! And I am SO thankful and grateful. Because I really wasn't expecting anything at all. And I cried Monday afternoon when I realized I had nothing to give my family for dinner and surprise! There it was. It was so nice.
The laundry is mostly caught up. The house is still a mess. And all three of my kids are now sick. Except I didn't realize just how sick they were until the 8 year old came home from Awana crying because her throat hurt and then, oh by the way mom I won a bike, now give me medicine for my throat. Okay, come on ... I got just how serious it was when the bike was not the first thing out of her mouth tonight!
And I still feel exhausted. And I still feel this huge amount of sadness. And I don't want to sew. I don't want to knit. I don't want to create at all! Which really is okay - except I have nothing to write here. And well, no one is checking my blog anymore. And I admit that makes me sad. On a weird but related note, some company contacted me to advertise here - and I had to laugh! Seriously, I get 16 hits a day (and I think 14 of them show the person stayed 0 minutes). I didn't even respond because it seemed so silly to contemplate it! And yet, it did feel kind of neat to get that e-mail - even if it was probably mass e-mailed to a lot of other bloggers. But I'm sad about the lack of readers. Although these days I'm sad about a lot so that shouldn't be a surprise.
Maybe soon I'll be back. And have lots of fabulous things to show you. Or maybe I'll learn how to write things that people will want to read! LOL! Or something like that.
For now, I'm just trying to get back into life and back into a rhythm of things!