Tuesday, April 26, 2011

A new journey ...

So a few weeks ago I started a new journey. One I never wanted to be one. One I really never thought I'd have to be on.

At first it didn't appear the journey would be long or serious. And as we got farther into it, we started to realize that might not be the case. And today I learned I will continue on this path that truly? I want off. Now.

All of this is a fancy  strange  beating around the bush my way to tell you that earlier today I learned that I have breast cancer. It's kind of scary to write it. To see it in print. To share it with all of you. I can't lie. Every time I share it it feels both like the cancer gains more power, and at the same time I feel like no, I'm the stronger one. Does that make any sense? I'm not sure it makes sense to me.

I've known most of the day. I still feel shocked by it. Maybe I'll always feel shocked by it? I'm not sure. I do know my thoughts have been all over the place today and some don't make any sense and some are really scary but most are just millions of questions I now have.

At this point I don't know more than that. I will learn a lot more tomorrow. I'm not sure I'll be ready to share all of it with you tomorrow. And yet, I feel like sharing will help me through all of this.

So there it is. I don't know how to end this post eloquently. What else can I say at this point?

11 comments:

  1. I know there's nothing I can do or say to make any of this better right now - except that I will pray and pray hard. For you.

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  2. Love and prayers to you Brandie!

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  3. Your in my prayers! Keep sharing so we can help carry you through this or just be your shoulder to lean on.

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  4. I can't even imagine how you must feel. I'm crossing EVERYTHING that everything will be okay, and SOON.

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  5. I am so sorry to hear this. I'll be thinking of you.

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  6. You WILL be the stronger one! I'm praying hard for you.

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  7. know i am thinking/praying/hoping and wishing right along with you, friend. xoxo

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  8. Brandie, I can not even find the words tonight that would adequately convey my thoughts and feelings. Know I am with you in spirit and will hold you up in prayer.

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  9. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Sending you healing thoughts and prayers.

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  10. Brandie, hugs to you, my friend.

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  11. I know that no words can calm you right now. You have a wonderful family and that's a gift you'll always have.
    You've been so generous with your love and I want you to know that I'm here for you.
    Everything will be fine. It might take a few steps, but you'll heal.
    Feel better my dear friend.

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Seeing your comments makes me smile! Thank you so much =)