Monday, July 25, 2011

Harder

It's the sad truth. Some things are getting harder. It's getting harder to recover after each dose of chemo. The first dose I felt back to normal after a week. Now we're 1.5 weeks out and I still feel like a mess.

I've been more sick too. It's not constant. It comes and goes. It's mostly my stomach - I won't go into details other than to say, one minute I'm fine and then wham. I'm sick and feeling like crap for half the day. I hate to make plans. Just yesterday we were supposed to go to my mom's for dinner and had to cancel because I got sick right before it was time to leave. So we didn't go. We stayed home.

So I haven't really been making plans. Fearing I'll get sick and have to cancel last minute. Which feels worse than having nothing to do to me.

But it's getting harder. And I'm 6.5 weeks down out of 16. I go in Wednesday for the next dose. And I feel like I'm not sure I'll be recovered from the previous dose this time. The bonus is Wednesday is the last of what is the hardest medicines for me. Then we switch to ones that are supposed to be nicer, easier, gentler. And I pray that it is. Because it's getting harder to get through each treatment.

4 comments:

  1. More than anything I can think of at the moment, I would love to be able to make you feel better. HUGS girl. Take a deep breath and let it out slow - and just take it one minute at a time. You WILL get through this.

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  2. Keep it up, you can do this! It's worth the hassle, keep fighting.

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  3. I'm sorry, Brandie. You definitely have me sending you good thoughts, piddly though they may be...

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  4. I'm sure that people understand if you have to change plans unexpectedly. Everyone knows what you're going through. ((hugs))

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Seeing your comments makes me smile! Thank you so much =)