I have a few confessions to make around here ...
first of all, I still have not yet sent out my fall y'all giveaway winners, which is pretty sad considering it's now winter and there is snow all around my house)
I am also far behind on Christmas gifts because I have been procrastinating on those items as well
I still haven't followed up with the dentist about my sore tooth
I'm still not sleeping all that well.
I have a bad case of the holiday blues.
I probably have more than just holiday blues, but for now, that's what I'll call it.
The truth is for the last few weeks I have felt like doing nothing, going no where, and just feeling pretty down.
As such, I have hardly left the house. I do just enough to get by. And I'm pretty crabby a lot.
This weekend I felt especially low and as such allowed myself to have a good cry (all the while being held by my husband who is now officially the most wonderful husband on the face of the planet). I have to say, I feel a bit better about it all - I don't know if it was the crying, or the talking, or just acknowledging to another human being what I was feeling that helped - I'm going to assume it's a combination of all three. But I am feeling a bit better this week so far.
I won't lie - this isn't the first time I've felt down and out. In fact, I have felt worse before (when my oldest was about 9 months old I struggled with depression). This is, however, the first time, it's affected me beyond just the emotional level. The not wanting to leave the house, not wanting to really do anything - in the past I've been able to press on, keep moving, keep doing what needs to be doing. This time I just wanted to ignore everything and do nothing.
I believe at this point, things will get better now. The fact that I even want to come blog shows is a huge improvement! And I'm glad that for the most part these blues are short lived. And that they come relatively infrequently. But it is hard knowing that chances are it will happen again someday. But for now, I don't want to dwell on that ... I want to get back into the holiday cheer. And I have a million and one things to check off my to-do list, especially all those things I've procrastinated on!
As an added fyi, I do have a therapist I meet with, so I do have help coming from there as well.