Tuesday, June 21, 2011

How are you doing?

No, really, how are you doing? I want to know. I know that some of you are having trouble answering this question for me lately, so I thought I would send you some encouragement.

I think what is happening is this: I ask "How are you doing?" and in your head you think about all the things you could tell me about and then you ask yourself but is this more important than cancer? And then you (wrongly) assume the answer is no and so you don't tell me all the things you could tell me. Instead you say "Oh, nothing. But how are you doing?" And then I get to have another conversation talking all about me.

So let me help you out. Here's is what you should think when I ask you how you are doing ... you need to ask yourself "Am I more important than cancer?" And the answer, my dear friends and family is a resounding YES! Yes you are! Cancer has not affected my heart or my brain. And YOU are much more important to me. And so therefor you should start to tell me all the things going on your life like you would have told me 2 months ago - talk about the kids, the job, the weather, the spouse, the boyfriend, your favorite tv show, that great book you just read - talk to me about all of it!

I get it, it feels awkward at first. Truthfully if the roles were reversed, I'd be doing the exact same thing in my head - thinking I couldn't possibly bore you with details of my kids latest softball triumph when you have such a major huge thing going on in your life. But here's a secret: you aren't boring me. And also, I get a little tired of talking about myself all the time. I mean I know it sounds fun, for about the first 52 seconds. And then it gets old and boring because conversations can only happen if both people participate.

That's not to say there will be days when I'm just too tired to talk. Or there will be days where you ask me what's going on and I will just unleash a thousand thoughts all at once without even pausing to take a break. But still, please talk to me. It makes me smile and makes me happy. And I love and care about all of you just as much as you love and care about me =)


  1. I'm okay. I'm excited about moving, and thrilled about the new house. And yes, feeling guilty that I get all this exciting newness while somebody I love has to deal with cancer and chemo. Hopeful that she and her husband and kids will come visit my new faraway home someday after she takes care of business.

  2. IF you're going to be home and not out galavanting all over hell and creation, I'm going to come up to visit for just a short on Sunday. Grannie has a new hat for you I think you're going to LOVE. The price? A picture of you in the hat.

  3. OMG! Yes, please bitch about your job, rant about your mother-in-law, tell me what you had for breakfast. I could use the distraction and just because I have cancer doesn't mean I'm any less interested in your life.

  4. (cracks her knuckles in prep for a lengthy comment)

    You wanna know? You REALLY wanna know?

    Evan is driving me CRA.ZEE. Insane. He is 9 and thinks he's the shizzat. Do you know what he did on Monday? He threw a tantrum at basketball camp! A TANTRUM. I was mortified and took away ALL PRIVILEGES including (in a moment of sheer idiocy) the trip to LEgoland that we are making on Thursday night. STUPID MOMMY! He was mortified. I was horrified. And wondered who in the hell would watch a grounded 9 year old on Thursday night because Pat is working that night! Shit. Shit. Shit.

    I decided to modify the grounding and give him a chance at attending on Thursday if and only if he behaves until then and ALSO participates with a good attitude on Wednesday's bball camp.

    Oh! Also. I am surrounded by more mess than I can explain. All of the homeschool curriculum from last year is on the floor, desk, etc. The shelves are half empty and I am mid-process of reorganizing for next year. You have the right idea in unschooling, my dear. Nonetheless, this is how I do it. And it's INSANITY.

    I have also found a very lovely sunless tanner for my bootie. Not that you care, but I was sick and tired of my ass being white and stretch-marked. So, now it's not. Can you picture it? Can you? Got the visual? Good.

    Also, my garden is STILL ALIVE. Thanks to all of the rain, I haven't forgotten to water it once! I am SO GOOD AT GARDENING!

  5. Hmmm... what's going on with MOI? How 'bout an 11 year old that thinks he's old enough to tell ME what to do? Or a 5 year old that has reverted and has stopped remembering to use the potty when he needs to? Or a 6 month old that is, well, 6 months? I've been having many a "Calgon take me away" moments lately, and -truth be told- your story has hope because you can and WILL beat the crap of of this cancer. Unfortunately, its APPARENTLY against the law *ahem* to beat the crap out of my kids, so I'd appreciate a few prayers my way, lol.

  6. Well said! It's so hard to know what to say, and when. It's so good that you posted this. I have a few other friends dealing with looming issues, and I like that you said this. It helps. :)

    Since you asked - I'm better now that I have power, but not as good as I'd be if I could visit my chiro for my jacked up back ;) Sadly, no appts till tomorrow.

  7. You're so right. You need to be treated like...Brandie! You still need conversation. And I'm sure you're sick of talking about cancer all the time as you probably THINK about it all the time. *hugs*


Seeing your comments makes me smile! Thank you so much =)