Down for the count

Yesterday I had a very important doctor's appointment. It was for the big blood draw - just to show how low my blood counts would go with the chemo regiment. (Apparently yesterday should be in theory the lowest it drops and hopefully counts are already climbing as I type away).

Well, apparently my chemo is very good. Because my white blood cell counts are super un-fabulously low. Some parts are so low they are non-existant - for those wondering my granulocytes are one of those which is apparently really bad as it leaves me wide open to possible infection/illness/etc.

Awesome. And by awesome I mean totally not awesome. I am now supposed to avoid crowds, sick people, fresh fruits and veggies (and fresh fruit is one of the few things I can tolerate these days in what is fast becoming a very very picky stomach).

Today however is supposed to be my lowest of lowest days (which is why I had to have the all important blood test today). And as I said a few sentences ago, hopefully numbers are already on the rise. But in the meantime the number one job is now to keep me healthy. And to get those counts higher (not that I can do anything about that one though).

I can't lie though. I'm nervous that after every treatment things will drop this low. I'm really hoping though it dropped so low because it was the first treatment and it just sent my body into shock and things will be better next time.

Also, today I sneezed more times than I've ever sneezed in one day for a really long time. By that I mean, you know, a whole 4 times. But every sneeze makes me anxious. One of the kids coughed today. I wondered if I should find a place for them to spend the night, just in case. Which is strange because in general I'm not a germaphobe or even usually slightly worried about stuff like that. I mean, sometimes I have hand sanitizer with me. So I guess I need to change that and always have some with me.

It's not a complete surprise, but at the same time, to drop so low. Really? I mean really? It couldn't have dropped just sort of low? But no. I guess when I do something, I really do it. It's how the whole process has been hasn't it? I haven't gone through one step of this (or at least it feels to me) without being kind of on the extreme side of things. So I guess I should just know by now, this is par for my course.

But. So if you know, you sneeze or cough around me and I jump back or avoid touching you at all, please don't take it personally! I swear it's not you, it really is me! =)