Thursday, June 23, 2011

Down for the count

Yesterday I had a very important doctor's appointment. It was for the big blood draw - just to show how low my blood counts would go with the chemo regiment. (Apparently yesterday should be in theory the lowest it drops and hopefully counts are already climbing as I type away).

Well, apparently my chemo is very good. Because my white blood cell counts are super un-fabulously low. Some parts are so low they are non-existant - for those wondering my granulocytes are one of those which is apparently really bad as it leaves me wide open to possible infection/illness/etc.

Awesome. And by awesome I mean totally not awesome. I am now supposed to avoid crowds, sick people, fresh fruits and veggies (and fresh fruit is one of the few things I can tolerate these days in what is fast becoming a very very picky stomach).

Today however is supposed to be my lowest of lowest days (which is why I had to have the all important blood test today). And as I said a few sentences ago, hopefully numbers are already on the rise. But in the meantime the number one job is now to keep me healthy. And to get those counts higher (not that I can do anything about that one though).

I can't lie though. I'm nervous that after every treatment things will drop this low. I'm really hoping though it dropped so low because it was the first treatment and it just sent my body into shock and things will be better next time.

Also, today I sneezed more times than I've ever sneezed in one day for a really long time. By that I mean, you know, a whole 4 times. But every sneeze makes me anxious. One of the kids coughed today. I wondered if I should find a place for them to spend the night, just in case. Which is strange because in general I'm not a germaphobe or even usually slightly worried about stuff like that. I mean, sometimes I have hand sanitizer with me. So I guess I need to change that and always have some with me.

It's not a complete surprise, but at the same time, to drop so low. Really? I mean really? It couldn't have dropped just sort of low? But no. I guess when I do something, I really do it. It's how the whole process has been hasn't it? I haven't gone through one step of this (or at least it feels to me) without being kind of on the extreme side of things. So I guess I should just know by now, this is par for my course.

But. So if you know, you sneeze or cough around me and I jump back or avoid touching you at all, please don't take it personally! I swear it's not you, it really is me! =)


  1. Well, shit. And a few other choice swear words, too. I hope this isn't the case for the rest of the treatments.

    No words of wisdom (obviously) but know that I'm thinking about you and hoping for lots of healthy cells...

  2. This too shall pass. Wishing you blue skies and high white cell counts.

  3. My niece was a low-count queen during her leukemia treatment. Mainly, we all had to use hand sanitizer when we came over, cancel parties/dinners if any of us even remotely thought we might have sniffles, and had to use paper towels instead of cloth (less contamination). And it worked out really well. So even if this is "the norm" for your counts - we'll just get you Costco sized jugs of sanitizer, wear masks around you, and disinfect ourselves - so we can still show you our support. :)

  4. Yep, we've switched to paper towels too. And there is sign when you walk in the garage door that asks everyone to wash their hands! No masks yet - but if counts keep staying low we may have to invest in some of those too!!

  5. Anonymous7:39 AM

    Masks might not be a bad idea. We did thatwith my Mom. Masks & hand sanitizer by the door. There are meds (injections) to help bring those counts up. I'm sure your doc will address that if the time comes. <3


  6. Yeah, the masks were when it was really bad. BUT - on the bright side - she's cancer-free for almost 5 years now! :D

  7. Anonymous11:57 PM

    Sending love your way, Brandie, as well as high hopes for higher white cell counts. Hang in there and know that we're all pulling for you. xo Chris, San Diego


Seeing your comments makes me smile! Thank you so much =)