"Frenemy" (alternately spelled "frienemy") is a portmanteau of "friend" and "enemy" that can refer to either an enemy disguised as a friend or to a partner who is simultaneously a competitor and rival.[1] The term is used to describe personal, geopolitical, and commercial relationships both among individuals and groups or institutions. The word has appeared in print as early as 1953.I now have my first official frenemy. It's not pretty. I didn't want it to come to this. I wanted dearly to just be friends. Not even best friends, I mean, it's not like I wanted to go skipping off under a rainbow holding hands or anything like that. Just friends would have been okay.
~from Wikipedia
But no, it just couldn't work that way. So here I am. With my first frenemy. My frenemy's name ... chemotherapy.
Yep. I had my first treatment last Wednesday. They warned my it would be rough. The doctor told me it would be hard. I didn't listen. I thought for sure I'd rise above it. I'd breeze through it. No big deal. Wrong.
It could have been worse. And I'm holding that thought dear in my heart right now. It could have been so much worse than it was. Other people have suffered so much worse than I did. But. Still. It sucked and I felt like crap. There's just no way around it. And it hit fast - much faster than I anticipated - not even 6 hours after treatment.
Things are still lingering - mostly nausea, headache, general achy-ness, just feeling crappy in general, not really being able to sleep. Also, I'm so amazingly dry - I drink and drink and drink, but I'm still so dry.
Again, I realize these symptoms could be so much worse. And I'm trying to keep that in perspective. But I can't lie - many tears were shed by me, many meds to offset the side effects of chemo were taken. {Thankfully one of them made me very sleepy and so a lot of sleeping also happened}.
But one round down. Three more in this treatment cycle to go. I'm a quarter of the way there. And I'm praying the next 7 weeks fly by!
As a side note, the nurses all LOVED my hair. So at least I had awesome hair - bright and colorful. It's kind of hard to walk by the mirror and not smile about the pink and purple hair ;-)
For those who are curious, the two drugs I'm currently receiving are this one and this one.
I'm sorry, babe. I know it sucked for you. I'm glad you were able to get out and see us, though. I feel truly honored that you used some of your precious energy to spend it with us. I hope today's a better day.
ReplyDeleteAnd the hair is definitely very cool. Purple skin and all!
Please know I am thinking about you non-stop. BIG HUGE HUGS.
ReplyDeleteSending you tummy over chemo thoughts. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hate getting sick and hate feeling nausea, so I can feel your pain, and am rooting for you and looking forward to sending you all the positive vibes I have from the west coast as you go through this journey. Frenemy, you have met your match!
ReplyDeleteOooh, that frenemy has other frenemies too. My mother and mother-in-law, for sure. Hugs to you.... Rock that hair!
ReplyDeleteBrandie,
ReplyDeleteEveryday you are in my thoughts and prayers sweettie. This is not easy and I hate it for you and a few other friends going through it. Pray it goes fast an you do not get to sick
Love ya
Karin
I'm sorry it hit so hard. I hope the side effects are manageable, and you're able to keep that fighting spirit going. I'm glad you did the hair - it's a good reminder. :)
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