Wednesday

At my house, Wednesday is bills night.

Every Wednesday night, faithfully, my husband sits down to pay all of our bills. We used to sit down together to pay the bills, but after the cancer diagnosis I kind of checked out. For more than a few weeks I was just too sick to sit with him. But then I just wanted to bury my head in the sand because most of the bills were my medical bills and there was a lot of sadness, frustration, and guilt wrapped up in my head when I would attempt to get back with the program.

Let's be honest. There still is. But it was time for me to jump back in, and as I said a few weeks ago, watching the Chicagonista LIVE! show about finances was the push I needed.

So, we are back to Wednesday night bills night with both adults in the house. I brought back the two spreadsheets we use to track spending and the last few weeks we have faithfully filled them out.

I still feel really unsettled when we work on it. I don't like it. But, it needs to be done. So I'm sucking it up, and jumping in.

Things aren't magically better (although, wouldn't it be nice if it worked that way?). But I think this is the first step to getting them better - tracking the money again, knowing where it is going, knowing what we can cut and what we need to spend more on, these are all really good things.

We'll see where it takes us. While I know it won't be a straight line up, I hope we can find a 2-steps forward, 1-step back, because at the end of the day, that's still forward progress!