Monday, January 26, 2009

The Problem with Women ... is Men

Saturday I went out and was able to see the comedy show Defending the Caveman - which by the way I might say was hilariously funny and I highly recommend it.

It did occur to me that the entire play might present a polar opposite to a book I just read - The Problem with Women ... is Men. Because that book focuses on the evolved man, and not your man's man.

The caveman starts off with saying, quite bluntly "all men are assholes." OR at least, that is how they are portrayed in so many facets of society.

I laughed, because even in the introduction of The Problem ... Orlando states "I realized I found the typical male behavior absolutely appalling: rude, condescending, obnoxious, bull-headed, and selfish." Which I believe is his way of saying the typical man is an asshole.

When you listen to the Defending the Caveman, you start to feel like men aren't really assholes (at least most of them aren't. In my opinion some still are) but they are just really misunderstood. And what most women want is a man who thinks and acts like a woman. A feminized male if you will. Which again made me laugh. Orlando mentions in his book, that as an evolved man, he and others are questioned about their sexuality - mostly people wondering if they are gay.

Now I have to tell you, the fact that I read The Problem and ended up seeing Defending the Caveman in such close proximity was completely unplanned and coincedental! The book I was lucky enough to win from Blogging Momma. Defending the Caveman was part of a bachelorette party and I didn't pick the location. But I appreciated being able to watch both of them around the same time.

Now, when I first read the book, I saw some pretty appalling examples of male behavior. And I instantly thought to myself, I have such an evolved husband. There are no two ways about it.

After reading the book, I'm not sure Orlando would agree with me on that! I think he would agree my husband is pretty darn close. Orlando has some guides to know if your man is evolved or not - and even he says "No one can give an Evolving Man a prescription to put him on the
'correct' life path. Evolution is 'an inside job'" However, the guides have a lot of fashion information in them. My husband can certainly match his clothes and he knows appropriate wear for work, leisure, formal, etc. However, he doesn't know what french cuffs are (frankly
before reading the book, neither did I). He doesn't know designer names and he doesn't own a lot of shoes - only a couple pairs. Just what he needs. He also fails the literature section. He's not a
reader. I doubt he ever will be. He's smart enough to pick up most literary references that might come up in conversation though. And when he doesn't know something - he'll ask me about it later. Which, I'd like to point out, totally makes him evolved in my mind!

Now, what hit me the most during Caveman is that he talks about mens interests and womens interests. And how they often don't intersect. And men go shopping as if on the hunt - walk in knowing what you need to kill (a new shirt), you focus in until you've found what you will kill
(the shirt on the rack) and then you kill it (grab shirt and go home!). Women go in as gatherers - you know you need clothes. And you look around and you gather information and you have to touch things - well, everything! And you go from store to store and you get what you like
from that one and get what you like from the other one, etc, etc. Now, clearly in the play, it's much funnier and I'm retelling it poorly. But that describes me and my husband perfectly! See, what I realized a long time ago is that my husband doesn't want to shop with me because he has
a problem with me. He doesn't want to shop with me because he has a problem with how I shop. I do not take offense to this and drag him to the mall with me every single time because I think we must shop to bond. That said, there are times where he does go with me - because he loves me enough to want to spend time with me even when I'm shopping! That, that right there, tells me he is an evolved man!

I really think though, my husband is evolved because he rocks! He cares about me, he listens to me, he has manners, he talks to me (like really talks!), he does housework, he parents his children, and well, I could go on and on. He is just a fabulous guy and in my eyes, he is evolved!
Now that I've written all of this out, I think Orlando would say my guy was evolved too.

However, if you did not have an evolved man in your life - I think you should pick up The Problem with Women ... is Men. I think you should read it and really take to heart what Orlando says. Because when you read the book and sit back and really think about it and take in the book, I believe the book is not so much about making sure the guy in your life knows all the info Orlando lists (although much of it is very helpful and just wise to know), but I think it's about
making sure the guy in your life wouldn't be afraid to know all that good stuff. Sure, my guy doesn't know what French Cuffs are, but should he ever need to have them on a shirt, he wouldn't shush someone for telling him about it, or pointing it out. Sure he doesn't read much
great literature - but he's not afraid of it. And that to me speaks volumes about my guy and how great he is. And I think the point is to have a guy who you knows loves you and cares for you - and doesn't just talk the talk, but also walks the walk.

I really enjoyed reading The Problem on so many levels. I think Orlando is a wise guy and has some really great information in this book!

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