Blogging

I know, I know. I don't post often enough. I don't mean to not post too often. I don't mean to just disappear. Truly, I'm a flaky blogger - and I know this. And I'm sorry about that.

The crazy thing is that I even have a list of things I want to write about and tell you about. But somehow, too often, sitting down to write just doesn't happen. Sometimes I want to write, but I can't find the right words. Other times I'm afraid I'll share something so mundane that you'll wonder why I shared something so boring with you. Not often, but sometimes, I am too scared to write what is actually on my mind - sometimes I am not brave enough to share things with you. Other days I don't write because I feel like I spend too much time whining and who really wants to come back to read whiny posts? Then there are the times where I worry that I'm over-sharing. {Sometimes people joke about it with me, at least I think they are joking. But then I wonder if it's really a joke, or do I actually annoy people with it.} And of course sometimes I struggle with talking about my children - aren't some stories really theirs to tell? And not mine? Then there are just days where I have no motivation to sit and share. And one day turns into two, turns into 5 turns into too many.

I've always struggled with this. Lately, I feel like I struggle with it even more. Some days I wonder if I shouldn't just shut this blog down completely, take some time off, and maybe start over - or maybe not. Then again, those are often the days I also wonder if I shouldn't just get rid of everything in our house and start all over. But, like with all the stuff in my house, I really wouldn't do that. It means too much to me, even on the days it overwhelms me.

I know I don't write often enough. I know I don't write well. I'll never be a big deal on the internet. I'll never get a book contract from the blog. I won't be asked to be in a commercial or make money off of ads. And I'm okay with that - none of that is my goal. I'm here blogging for the same reason I sing loudly around my house (even though I suck at singing). I do it for me. Because I enjoy it. And I love it, even if I do it poorly. When I do it, it makes me smile. It feels right in my core, like it's always been a part of me.

So I will continue to blog - not as often as I should, but I will do the best I can. I hope you'll continue reading.

xoxo,
Brandie