Today I am typing courtesy of the Dragon software. It is pretty cool to use this. Although, it is a bit strange because I feel like I'm sitting here talking to myself. However, my fingers certainly appreciate it. I should note though that they are actually feeling better these days. Of course, had we not purchased Dragon sure they would still be hurting a lot right now.
I know I've been missing lately and I'll try to catch you up. I started radiation treatments about two weeks ago. Today I will go in for my 13th treatment (out of a total of 28 or 33 treatments). Radiation isn't too difficult – nothing close to how chemotherapy was. It does however, suck the energy out of me. I'm starting to think that I will never feel not tired again! The hardest part about radiation is that I have to go every single day. Okay, okay, I do get the weekends off and that's nice but still going to the hospital everyday? Not exactly my idea of fun. The good news his the appointments are brief – I'm there for a total of 15 min. each day. And the first appointment after lunch so I never have to wait which I also appreciate very much.
Things are so much better now than they were over the summer. And and while I'm grateful things are better, they are still not normal. I still struggle with those days where it all just feels like too much, where it's hard for me to believe this really is happening, and where I just can't wait for it to all be over. Those days come less often now, but they still come. Things are better. But they're not great.
And yet, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Soon enough, most of this will be behind me. My energy will come back, my hair will start to grow, my fingers will lose their tingle, my skin will start to heal from the damage, things will be normal. Not the normal they were before all of this, no, I know this has changed everything. We can't go back to where we were. Scars have been left, both scars you can see and ones you can't. But we will find a new normal, a place where our old normal in this new reality will meet.
For today, we will get dressed up, we will eat too much candy, we will hang out with friends, and enjoy Halloween. I will take too many pictures and the kids will beg to go to just a few more houses. And it will be a great day!