Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Time to Drive

Eric and Brandie
If my husband's and my marriage were a person, today we'd be old enough to drive.

That's right, it's our 16 year anniversary today.

16 years ago, on a Thursday afternoon, at the backyard of his parents house, in front of 18 other people, we said I do and began this journey.

We didn't know back then what we would face. We were warned the road would be hard - I was pregnant when we got married. We were young. People reminded us of that often, almost always to tell us how when people get married young, the marriage might not last.

Honestly, that first year didn't seem as hard as everyone predicted. Even when our first daughter was born and decided to never sleep - somehow it didn't seem hard. It just seemed normal and our marriage just seemed like it was meant to be, and we worked together really well.

That's not to say there haven't been any bumpy paths along the way. When our second daughter was born, that was a hard time for a while. But we worked through it. There have been other points in the marriage where it's been really hard, where we have to fight a little harder to like each other. Because life isn't always easy. But even if we are stressed, or tired, or sick, or mad, we are pretty good at talking it out and working through it.

I don't know a single marriage that hasn't had moments where you have to work harder than others. And there are moments where everything seems so easy, you wish they'd last forever.

Naturally, I think the hardest part of the marriage has been me being sick. It wears on me. It stresses him. He has to pick up my slack. I feel guilty. Some days, my husband is my caregiver first and husband second. Some days, I'm the patient first and the wife second. Some times, he feels like my father (no, people, not in a creepy way thank you very much). Sometimes I have a tendency to mother him - it's hard to turn that off when he walks in the door and I've been mom all day!

But at the end of the day, I can climb into bed and lay down next to this person who I love so dearly. And most of the nights, I can say I even like him too! It's my thing - I will always love him, I know that. Sometimes I don't like him. I'm sure if he were to talk about our marriage, he'd say something similar. I'm hard to like some days. Recently, after he helped me with things he wasn't even supposed to and missed doing his own work, I snapped at him. Nice, huh? Not one of my prouder moments. And I (tearfully) apologized later. He accepted, we hugged, and both still liked each other.

So today we celebrate 16 years. We have company over - his mom and stepdad from out of town. If the storms hold off, we'll be at Miss 12's softball game tonight. We will be watching the hockey game being played tonight. We will mostly hang out with everyone and talk. Eric and I will try to catch each other's eyes between it all and give each other those googly eye looks. We'll try to hold hands a bit more today than normal. There will be some stolen kisses mixed in amongst the moments of the day.

This is what 16 years looks like for us. We know the vows ... we've walked through most of them now: good times and bad, we've been richer and poorer, we've known health and sickness in ways we've never imagined. We've survived mood swings, job loss, sleepless nights, stress, worry, and fear. But we've also had moments of pure joy - times where you laugh until tears stream down your face, shared moments of pride over our children, moments where you can just sit together - no words needed to fill the silence.

It's been a wonderful 16 years. Some parts of the road have been bumpier than others - but overall it's been a great ride so far. And now that we're old enough to drive, I can't wait to see what roads we will find ourselves in the future!

1 comment:

  1. Such a nice and such a true post. Happy anniversary!


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