Wednesday, March 04, 2015

Well, not *everything*

More than once I've heard from people that I share everything on-line.

The truth is, while I do share a fair amount, I don't share everything. In fact, there is a lot that I don't share.

Obviously, I can't tell you about all the things I don't share, otherwise, I'd be sharing them (yeah, I know how that works!)

Sometimes it's easy to know what I'm okay with sharing and not sharing (topic a: never, topic b: always) but other times it's hard to know where that line is. The line may change on a daily basis and sometimes the line is fuzzy. This can make it tricky.

There are certain topics that are absolutely, with-out-a-doubt off-limits for this blog. These are things that I wouldn't share with you even if we were face-to-face. Yes, I've got my secrets and I've got skeletons in the closet. These are often topics that even I'm not comfortable with. Things I'm still trying to figure out, or process, or deal with (or avoid dealing with as the case may be). These are things that I don't think could add to what I've already built on this website.

Could that change someday? I suppose so. It's highly unlikely.

I also don't share stories about my family and friends without their permission. I don't tell the stories I feel that belong to my husband or children without asking them first. And if they say no? I respect that. I'm sure you may have noticed that I often talk about my 12 year old around these parts ... it's because she always says "Yes! You can blog that." The other children will almost always say "no, please don't share that." and so I don't. Same with my husband. To me, it's a level or respect. I wouldn't want them putting stories I am uncomfortable with on-line either.

I will share generalities if I think I can offer a learning moment, or the moment affected me (positively or negatively). And I will talk about encounters with near strangers (like, when I was bald from chemo and people stared - I wrote about that but didn't single anyone out). I have written about words spoken that were hurtful, or hard to hear, or I wish would be re-framed, if I think it can help someone, but I would never say who said it. You'll never see me say on here "Well one day my Aunt Sally said the most awful thing to me ever!" (no, I don't really have an Aunt Sally) because a) it is not my intent on this blog to shame people or b) parent others. If I share it's because I want people to see things through my eyes, how some words can make me feel.

I do talk about my cancer a lot. I try to throw in some things about parenting with cancer as well in a way that my children are comfortable with. When I was diagnosed there wasn't much out there to help guide me on how to help my children through this, or how to juggle it all. I hope that the couple of posts I've written might someday help someone else out when they are looking for help or advice or ideas.

I try to not rant on this blog. Sometimes I do though.

I try to add a good mix of heavy with light-hearted content. This blog did start, after all, as mostly a craft blog. And I don't want to lose that side of me. It's not my intent to be a cancer blog - not because there is anything wrong with that - it's just not where I want to be personally. I read many of them. There are so many talented bloggers out there whose blogs are amazing and have great content and are cancer blogs. It is just not my preferred niche.

In fact, I don't really think I have a niche. While it started out as a niche for sharing my knitting, this blog has grown and stretched and changed as I have needed it to. I write about parenting, cancer, knitting, sewing, what I've read, the weather, things I watch on tv, places I've visited, etc, etc. I love having the ability to come here and blog about whatever is on my mind.

And at the end of the day, that's what I need this blog to be: a place for me. If I can't be comfortable here, then there is no point in continuing on. Somethings I will hold near and dear to my heart always, some I will always be willing to share, some things depend on how the others around me are feeling, and what is okay and good to share one day, might give me anxiety to share the next.

So even though it sometimes feels like I'm sharing EVERYTHING here, I'm actually not. I'm sharing exactly what I'm comfortable with. It might be more than other people would want to share and it might be less than what some others are comfortable with. But it is right for me!

P.S. As a side note: Have you ever thought about starting a blog but aren't sure? Rebecca J. Hogue, PhD(ABD) (who I met on twitter) is starting a class called Should I Blog. The first one is starting this month. It's aimed about blogging about your cancer experience, and I think it will be a good class. One of the class topics inspired this post, and I'm looking forward to seeing how the class goes! You should join if you're wondering if blogging is the right move for you!

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