Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Bah Humbug

Our Christmas elves being all festive!
It's December 10.

Our elves have arrived. Our tree is up (though not yet decorated). Tomorrow is my son's birthday. We have a wreath on the fireplace and one on our door. A few days ago the kids made gingerbread houses. Cards are starting to arrive in the mail. Most presents have been bought. And there is a layer of snow on the ground.

And me? I feel no Christmas spirit. Nothing. Nada. Not a thing.

Which makes me feel sad. Which makes me feel less spirited. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I'm still struggling with these headaches. At their worst, I would call them debilitating. If there is a medical measurement for this, I'm not sure I reach it. But it feels like it. At their worst, I feel barely capable of functioning. At their worst my eyes get twitchy, so I don't drive. I can't think. The prescription I have helps when the headaches aren't full strength. When the headaches are at their worst though, the medicine isn't so helpful.

I called my primary care doctor in tears last week and asked for a referral to a neurologist. Can another doctor help me? I don't know, but I'm desperate. I did all the other doctors asked of me and it's not helping. And if someone tells me they are being caused by stress again? I might scream. Of course I'm stressed. My head is freaking pounding, my eyes are twitching, and I'm pretty sure my head is about 10 seconds away from exploding. OF COURSE I'M STRESSED!

I also have an appointment with an eye doctor. I haven't been to one in too long. The doctor I had, and was great, left the state. Her replacement was not even slightly as great so I never went back. The new eye doctor's office seems nice. As nice as they can be on the phone anyway.


And I called the chiropractor. I used to see her regularly. She's very nice. But with all the treatment I've undergone the last two years, I often wish to NOT be touched and the thought of going to see her isn't exciting. (I know, it's weird. But I'm all touched out and mostly have no desire to have anyone touch me so I haven't been to see her). Alas, I will go back because I figure it can't hurt!

In the meantime, I'll be doing my best to try to find some Christmas spirit. Because it's not that I don't want to have it. I just need some extra help getting there this year.

xoxo
B

4 comments:

  1. I hope you get that help. If this helps, you might suggest the chiropractor do some 'light touch' techniques - or maybe use an 'activator'. My parents are chiropractor and only did that type of adjustment during my treatments. It's far easier, not hard at all.

    I hope the migraines find a way to ease off. ~Catherine

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  2. Anonymous5:43 PM

    Hi, I have been reading about you and your headaches. I have always suffered from migraines (also a one year breast cancer survivor) This is a long shot but years ago the doctors just kept saying my headaches were stress then finally (my husbands father who was a retired surgeon) said how I described my headaches indicated to him that I was retaining to much fluid in my "head" He prescribed some diuretics--they worked!!! I still got headaches just not nearly as often. he did make me go into yet another doctor to discuss it. I took these pills until I went into menopause (cancer thing) He and my doctor felt my migraines were tied to my estrogen levels now that I don't have much estrogen left I rarely get the headaches. Its just a thought as it seems nothing has worked for you yet. I really hope your doctors can figure out something for you with the headaches. I wish you the very best. Stay strong! Linda

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  3. Hi
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  4. I hope your headaches have eased up. Obvi I struggle with headaches since my DX, before and after - but Gatorade among other things seems to help. Happy Christmas!

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Seeing your comments makes me smile! Thank you so much =)