My dear readers ... I'm going to take a break from the blog for a few days. Maybe even for a few weeks. We'll see.
It's nothing bad ... I just feel like I need a break from blog writing right now. I'll try to check in on facebook, so if you aren't already, follow me here. =)
xoxo,
Brandie
Monday, February 13, 2012
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
Let's Act.
Yesterday I mentioned we need to do more, we needed to do better.
Today, I'm going to ask you, my dear readers, to do something very simple. And I'm going to ask that you pass it on to all of your friends and ask them to do something simple.
Today, I'm asking you to please, please join the Army of Women. From their website:
I am a member of the site, along with 363,625 other women. The goal? Is to get one million women signed up. Late last year I even participated in a study that I learned about through Army of Women.
So go over there, check out the website, and join. And ask your friends. And ask them to ask their friends. It's a small thing that could make a huge difference.
xoxo,
Brandie
Today, I'm going to ask you, my dear readers, to do something very simple. And I'm going to ask that you pass it on to all of your friends and ask them to do something simple.
Today, I'm asking you to please, please join the Army of Women. From their website:
The Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation's Love/Avon Army of Women is made possible thanks to a grant from the Avon Foundation for women.You do NOT have to have had breast cancer to join. You just have to be a women, willing to fill out a form, get an e-mail from time to time, and if you are so moved and eligible, through this site you can participate in research going on right now. To learn more about breast cancer.
Our revolutionary initiative has two key goals:
Join us in this movement that will take us beyond a cure by creating new opportunities to study what causes breast cancer—and how to prevent it.
- To recruit one million healthy women of every age and ethnicity, including breast cancer survivors and women at high-risk for the disease, to partner with breast cancer researchers and directly participate in the research that will eradicate breast cancer once and for all.
- To challenge the scientific community to expand its current focus to include breast cancer prevention research conducted on healthy women.
I am a member of the site, along with 363,625 other women. The goal? Is to get one million women signed up. Late last year I even participated in a study that I learned about through Army of Women.
So go over there, check out the website, and join. And ask your friends. And ask them to ask their friends. It's a small thing that could make a huge difference.
xoxo,
Brandie
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
Heavy heart ....
Yesterday, the world lost two amazingly strong, smart, caring women. Both women lost their lives to stage IV breast cancer. Both women were strong leaders in the breast cancer community. A huge hole has been left.
Susan Niebur, of Toddler Planet, is survived by her husband and her two boys. Her boys are very close to my own son's age. I can't imagine the pain they are feeling right now. Susan lived with inflammatory breast cancer for the past 5 years. She was an amazing voice and shared so much with so many. I actually came to know her (via the internet) before my own diagnosis. And was even then amazed by her strength. When I was diagnosed, she reached out to me, even though she was dealing with her own health issues. She had kind and comforting words to share. Susan will be greatly missed. She was a powerhouse in the blogging world.
Rachel Cheetham Moro, of The Cancer Culture Chronicles, also passed away yesterday. I didn't know Rachel as well as I knew Susan. I came to know Rachel through a weekly chat on twitter for breast cancer. Rachel was a smart woman, and feisty. She was an incredible writer who brought attention to many issues in the breast cancer world. I've read many of her blog posts and just had to nod my head in agreement with all she said. She, like Susan, was a powerful voice in the breast cancer. And will also be greatly missed.
I can not believe we lost both of these women yesterday. My heart is so heavy and I've shed many tears. I will miss them. And am sending many prayers and much love to their families today.
*Here's where I'd like to remind you that in addition to these two lovely women, about 108 other women passed away because of breast cancer yesterday. 110 women will die today. And 110 will die tomorrow. Everyday, 110 families lose incredible women to breast cancer. Pink ribbons are not enough anymore. We need to do more.
Susan Niebur, of Toddler Planet, is survived by her husband and her two boys. Her boys are very close to my own son's age. I can't imagine the pain they are feeling right now. Susan lived with inflammatory breast cancer for the past 5 years. She was an amazing voice and shared so much with so many. I actually came to know her (via the internet) before my own diagnosis. And was even then amazed by her strength. When I was diagnosed, she reached out to me, even though she was dealing with her own health issues. She had kind and comforting words to share. Susan will be greatly missed. She was a powerhouse in the blogging world.
Rachel Cheetham Moro, of The Cancer Culture Chronicles, also passed away yesterday. I didn't know Rachel as well as I knew Susan. I came to know Rachel through a weekly chat on twitter for breast cancer. Rachel was a smart woman, and feisty. She was an incredible writer who brought attention to many issues in the breast cancer world. I've read many of her blog posts and just had to nod my head in agreement with all she said. She, like Susan, was a powerful voice in the breast cancer. And will also be greatly missed.
I can not believe we lost both of these women yesterday. My heart is so heavy and I've shed many tears. I will miss them. And am sending many prayers and much love to their families today.
*Here's where I'd like to remind you that in addition to these two lovely women, about 108 other women passed away because of breast cancer yesterday. 110 women will die today. And 110 will die tomorrow. Everyday, 110 families lose incredible women to breast cancer. Pink ribbons are not enough anymore. We need to do more.
Friday, February 03, 2012
Going Red
Did you know that heart disease kills more women than all cancers combined? Scary when you think about it. And heart health is on my mind a lot lately as some of my treatments are not kind to my heart. I have to get my heart tested every 3 months. So I definitely am aware of my heart health!
Well, February is National Heart Health Month. Today is wear go Red for women day. Okay, okay, I must admit, I am not wearing red today, but my spirit is full of lots of red. {in my defense, I am not leaving my house and I used to have red shirts, but none of them fit me anymore}.
Anyway, later this month I will be celebrating Heart Health Month by going to the 2nd annual Girls Night Out. It's being sponsored by Sassy Moms in the City, B96, KHits and WBBM News Radio. And I can't wait to go! I wasn't able to attend last year, but I know everyone who went? Had an amazing time!
So, here's how you can join in the fun ... click here to RSVP. Tickets are $30, but all ticket proceeds go to American Heart Association "Go Red for Women" campaign. It's going to be amazing! I hope I see you there =)
Disclaimer: I am being given a complementary ticket to share this information with you. But, all my opinions remain my own!
Well, February is National Heart Health Month. Today is wear go Red for women day. Okay, okay, I must admit, I am not wearing red today, but my spirit is full of lots of red. {in my defense, I am not leaving my house and I used to have red shirts, but none of them fit me anymore}.
Anyway, later this month I will be celebrating Heart Health Month by going to the 2nd annual Girls Night Out. It's being sponsored by Sassy Moms in the City, B96, KHits and WBBM News Radio. And I can't wait to go! I wasn't able to attend last year, but I know everyone who went? Had an amazing time!
So, here's how you can join in the fun ... click here to RSVP. Tickets are $30, but all ticket proceeds go to American Heart Association "Go Red for Women" campaign. It's going to be amazing! I hope I see you there =)
Disclaimer: I am being given a complementary ticket to share this information with you. But, all my opinions remain my own!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Positive Attitude
So, today's post might be a bit ranty. I apologize in advance, but I just have to let this out. It's come up a few times recently - both in comments people have said to me {but, I'm grateful to report that the comments were few} and in talking to other cancer patients, so I just feel like it needs to be said. Because it's important to those of who are struggling - with anything by the way, not just cancer - that people can acknowledge and agree with what I'm about to say.
A positive attitude will NOT cure cancer. It will not make a sick person healthy. It will not raise white blood counts or red blood counts. It does not make tumors shrink.
That's not to say I don't see how a positive attitude is helpful. It certainly can be. However, it is absolutely NOT helpful at all when the person with the positive attitude is completely faking it because s/he feels pressure from the people around him/her to be "happy." It is draining to fake it. It is tiring to fake it.
It also needs to be said, just because I do not have a huge smile plastered on my face, that doesn't mean I do not have a positive attitude. I can have a generally positive attitude, but still have a bad day. The two feelings can be co-existent. Some days suck. Some days I have pain. Some days I'm over-whelmed by what is going on. And so? I might not be smiling. I might even be crying. But that doesn't mean I have a negative attitude. It just means I'm acknowledging my feelings. And that? Is okay in my book.
It also needs to be said, that if I'm being realistic about my cancer? That doesn't mean I don't have a positive attitude. My cancer can come back. That is a reality. It's why oncologists do not call you cured. Because while they may not be able to detect cancer, small cells could still be in my body, waiting to grow. Me acknowledging that? Doesn't mean I don't have a positive attitude. The truth is for some time to come, maybe even forever, in the back of my head will be the thought my cancer can come back. This doesn't mean I've given up on life and refuse to live it. It doesn't mean I'm being negative. I can acknowledge the realities of my health and still have a positive attitude.
It also needs to be said, that if at any time I lose my positive attitude, for whatever reason? That's okay too. I've been what feels like to hell and back. I might not be oh-so positive about it all the time. I might have some very negative feelings. And that's okay. I realize it might be harder for those around me. I get it, negativity can be hard to be around at times. But I, and I think every person really, need to honor my feelings, my experiences, my emotions. And it won't cause my cancer to come back. It won't delay the healing my body needs to do. Might it get in the way of my emotional healing? It might. But you know what, so will faking a positive attitude that doesn't really exist.
Now, I've been really blessed. I am embraced and loved and surrounded by people who let me be exactly who I am - whether it's the smiling happy Brandie, or the sad, crying Brandie. I'm so amazingly blessed by this. I do not feel pressured to fake anything.
But, a few times, by well-meaning folks I'm sure {but who are essentially strangers} have made comments. Or told me to just be happy. That if I just had a better attitude, I'd heal faster. I've also been told about how they knew someone who smiled through all of her treatment, and never got sick or had side effects and was so happy and upbeat and I should try to be like her. (And I've had other breast cancer patients share stories about how they were told that even by their close friends and family. And how hurtful it can be, especially from people close to you.) But no. Being happy won't fix this. Having a better attitude won't heal my body. And I should NOT try to be someone else. Because I am already me.
Now, I know, I know, these things are often said in love. And are meant with good intentions. I do understand that. But I also think that there needs to be understanding that these comments are in fact not helpful to every person. And throwing them around casually, as if being happy or positive, is the solution to the problem is not helpful. This is not say you can't talk about being happy, or talk about people you know who did in fact smile all the way through treatment. I might get jealous hearing about that person but I don't mind the sharing, as long as it doesn't come with an ending that says "be like her!" or "be like him!"
Because I know from experience from all the wonderful people in my life, when you let the person you are talking to just be who they are and not give them expectations to live up to, it will make your bond with them better. They will remember how good it felt to be with you. They will appreciate the fact that you are listening to them, through the good and the bad.
A positive attitude will NOT cure cancer. It will not make a sick person healthy. It will not raise white blood counts or red blood counts. It does not make tumors shrink.
That's not to say I don't see how a positive attitude is helpful. It certainly can be. However, it is absolutely NOT helpful at all when the person with the positive attitude is completely faking it because s/he feels pressure from the people around him/her to be "happy." It is draining to fake it. It is tiring to fake it.
It also needs to be said, just because I do not have a huge smile plastered on my face, that doesn't mean I do not have a positive attitude. I can have a generally positive attitude, but still have a bad day. The two feelings can be co-existent. Some days suck. Some days I have pain. Some days I'm over-whelmed by what is going on. And so? I might not be smiling. I might even be crying. But that doesn't mean I have a negative attitude. It just means I'm acknowledging my feelings. And that? Is okay in my book.
It also needs to be said, that if I'm being realistic about my cancer? That doesn't mean I don't have a positive attitude. My cancer can come back. That is a reality. It's why oncologists do not call you cured. Because while they may not be able to detect cancer, small cells could still be in my body, waiting to grow. Me acknowledging that? Doesn't mean I don't have a positive attitude. The truth is for some time to come, maybe even forever, in the back of my head will be the thought my cancer can come back. This doesn't mean I've given up on life and refuse to live it. It doesn't mean I'm being negative. I can acknowledge the realities of my health and still have a positive attitude.
It also needs to be said, that if at any time I lose my positive attitude, for whatever reason? That's okay too. I've been what feels like to hell and back. I might not be oh-so positive about it all the time. I might have some very negative feelings. And that's okay. I realize it might be harder for those around me. I get it, negativity can be hard to be around at times. But I, and I think every person really, need to honor my feelings, my experiences, my emotions. And it won't cause my cancer to come back. It won't delay the healing my body needs to do. Might it get in the way of my emotional healing? It might. But you know what, so will faking a positive attitude that doesn't really exist.
Now, I've been really blessed. I am embraced and loved and surrounded by people who let me be exactly who I am - whether it's the smiling happy Brandie, or the sad, crying Brandie. I'm so amazingly blessed by this. I do not feel pressured to fake anything.
But, a few times, by well-meaning folks I'm sure {but who are essentially strangers} have made comments. Or told me to just be happy. That if I just had a better attitude, I'd heal faster. I've also been told about how they knew someone who smiled through all of her treatment, and never got sick or had side effects and was so happy and upbeat and I should try to be like her. (And I've had other breast cancer patients share stories about how they were told that even by their close friends and family. And how hurtful it can be, especially from people close to you.) But no. Being happy won't fix this. Having a better attitude won't heal my body. And I should NOT try to be someone else. Because I am already me.
Now, I know, I know, these things are often said in love. And are meant with good intentions. I do understand that. But I also think that there needs to be understanding that these comments are in fact not helpful to every person. And throwing them around casually, as if being happy or positive, is the solution to the problem is not helpful. This is not say you can't talk about being happy, or talk about people you know who did in fact smile all the way through treatment. I might get jealous hearing about that person but I don't mind the sharing, as long as it doesn't come with an ending that says "be like her!" or "be like him!"
Because I know from experience from all the wonderful people in my life, when you let the person you are talking to just be who they are and not give them expectations to live up to, it will make your bond with them better. They will remember how good it felt to be with you. They will appreciate the fact that you are listening to them, through the good and the bad.
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