Jaded and Cynical

We are in full mode ball season over here with 2/3rds of the kids.

Mister Man is playing baseball and Miss M is playing softball.

Neither kid played in the new town last year, so we are making some new friends and enjoying the teams the kids have been placed on. At a game the other night, one of the other parents mentioned that the snack schedule was out and I might have whined a bit. In our last town, team snacks were pretty much over. Many teams stopped doing it when the economy got especially tight and it never picked up again.

My kids are 9 and 12. I just don't think they need a snack after playing 2 hours, and if they do, I'll give it to them at home.

Yes, I'm a crotchety mom over here! And yes, I laughed at myself as well for how much I apparently hate the idea of team snacks!

After discussing snacks, we talked some more. I had not met these other moms prior to that game and we had such a nice conversation. I really enjoyed it, and I think they did to (despite my snack whining!). Well, as it always does, the cancer came up.

One of the women mentioned that I must just appreciate each day so much more than I did before. And that when she feels like complaining, she thinks of the people going through cancer and it gives her perspective. She wondered if I felt the same way.

And because I'm me, I was totally honest with her.

I told her while some people are thankful for cancer, and even call it gift, that it can be life-changing and give them a profound appreciate for life, I am not one of them. I told her the cancer made me feel cynical and jaded.

Here's how I know these woman (even if they wouldn't feel the same going through it) understood ... the one mom said "You mean like about team snacks and things like that."

We all laughed. The conversation moved on and it was good.

But you know what, when she first asked me, for one split second I thought about just saying yes - just nodding along and agreeing. I'm so glad I didn't though. They seemed to get it. We laughed about it and kept talking about all sorts of things.

It felt really nice to me.

I might be more jaded and cynical since having cancer but that doesn't mean I'm always cynical and jaded either. It was nice to say it - to share my truth - and then have a little laugh about it after.

I just hope I didn't scare these new friends away Because if they can get me, even with my cynicism and jadedness, then I think they will be good friends quickly!