tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9866948.post7534326512588333388..comments2023-11-15T22:27:23.261-06:00Comments on A journey of 1000 stitches begins with just one ....: Oh Jealousy!Brandiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181341595095947329noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9866948.post-31085461867054851452015-09-18T06:28:46.054-05:002015-09-18T06:28:46.054-05:00Firstly, I'm really glad I found your blog. T...Firstly, I'm really glad I found your blog. Thanks for flying this. Christy summed up about perfectly my thoughts on the subject, but I really wanted to underscore that I believe few honest people don't struggle with jealousy from time to time. Maybe the Dali Lama? Though, he'd probably go and surprise me and say that's his biggest struggle. Out of treatment, I'm finding jealousy less in my face, rather being wiley and cropping up at odd times; or not so odd. Here I am after a major 10 hour surgery, trying to recuperate. I do so envy my friends and family who never got sick in the first place though I'd be first in line to help in any way, should they be sick or need help. I envy them their breezy way of thinking this will be my last surgery or how they will not have my luck and ever have to hear those three vicious words, "You have cancer." I envy them that they can't imagine pain level 10. I envy them their ease of jumping in a car, whenever, where as I always have to do a calculation and usually hold my pain meds. I envy them their yoga, Pilates, zumba, and belly dance. Heh. At least, while house/bed bound I'm too busy to really tally the vacations I have and will miss. Same with shows, work, happy hours.<br /><br />And, yes, I want them to have wonderful things. I want strangers to have enough food and clean water. I find that I'm able to do both-feel jealousy and generosity. I don't think they are mutually exclusive. You are not alone in this. I hate the isolation of feeling like I have detention, while every one else is at recess.<br /><br />Wow! That was a bit longer than I expected! On a last note, that you are feeling things is good. You're still alive and kicking. I also think, Americans, at least are uncomfortable with emotions outside of the happy. I think the fact that you're willing to acknowledge your feelings is a good sign you'll not be consumed by that.janienehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05899806223240611292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9866948.post-62293932215012071292015-09-17T23:01:55.144-05:002015-09-17T23:01:55.144-05:00I absolutely feel this way sometimes...some days m...I absolutely feel this way sometimes...some days more than others. I don't think it is possible to avoid feelings of jealousy or resentment -- it is what we do with those feelings that determine how we will come out of it. I will be honest and say that I am finding it hard to shake off the feelings of resentment and jealousy -- when my friends are getting engaged (my boyfriend left me after diagnosis) or meeting new SO, they are going on fabulous vacations, their houses have AC whereas my rundown apartment does not, job promotions, even my friends whose SO break up with them, they worked it out. So, I feel like I am the only person that is going through chemo, alone, in a house with no AC. I have no one to make weekend plans with or to have around to help care for me...and so resentment and jealousy soon raise their ugly heads. All I can do, and likely all any of us can do is to recognize where those feelings are coming from and to not let them interfere with personal relationships. So, Brandie, you are not alone.Vanilla Dollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09723953668320105347noreply@blogger.com